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I agree with him on that, but this isn’t the way to achieve that. We shouldn’t even think about putting anyone else at risk.
“We ain’t doing that,” Howler says, shutting down the conversation immediately. “We don’t sacrifice innocents.”
And yet innocents were the ones taking all the hits. Mara. Jade. Wren nearly died. Ophelia too. Her friend was raped and dumped on the front steps of the clubhouse.
This does need to end, but it isn’t Sariah or Skye who can stop this runaway train.
“Richardson wants something more than any of that,” I say, speaking for the first time.
All eyes come to me, but I’m only focused on Prez. “No,” Howler says before I can explain anything further. He is an astute fucker.
“Why not?” I demand. “This shit is just gonna drag on for years if we don’t do something.”
Howler’s entire body vibrates with irritation. “While it’s noble that you want to throw yourself onto the fire, we only just got you fucking back.”
“What’s he talking about?” Brewer asks.
“He wants to give himself up to Richardson,” Blackjack informs him.
“If he wants to do it, why are we stoppin’ him?” Rage shrugs. “It’s a small price to pay, considering the shit he’s done.”
“We don’t throw members of this club to the enemy.” It’s Hawk who comes to my defence, surprisingly. He and Rage are the two brothers I know the least, and neither of them particularly like me.
Rage snorts. “He ain’t exactly a member of this fuckin’ club, though, is he?”
Little bastard.
“You don’t see a fucking kutte on his back?” Terror asks. “You don’t see the Untamed Sons patch right fucking there?”
I duck my head, letting them fight it out. Maybe there is hope for me here. Maybe this is a turning point in my redemption.
But there are so many lives at stake here, and the longer this war continues, the worse things are going to get. What if next time it’s Sophia who is killed? Or Heidi? Or one of the other kids? I can’t have this shit on my head.
“Richardson will come out of whatever rathole he’s hiding in if he thinks he can get his hands on me,” I say.
“No,” Howler repeats. “I don’t give a shit if it brings this entire thing to an end in the next hour. Ain’t sacrificing anyone for this, so shut your fuckin’ mouth.”
Blackjack leans forward on the table, his fingers clasped together. “You also forget the part where you have a child waiting for her father to come home.”
I haven’t forgotten, not even for a second. Sophia is all that consumes my mind these days, and I want my daughter to grow up in a world where she’s safe.
“I’m not trying to get myself killed,” I say. “Believe me, this isn’t some kind of suicide mission. This needs to end before anyone else dies, and I trust you guys to have my back.”
Howler shakes his head. “Does anyone else have any suggestions that aren’t fuckin’ insane?”
The conversation turns onto other ideas, but I tune it out. The idea is turning over in my head, and the longer it does, the more sense it makes to me.
The slamming of the gavel against the table jolts me out of my thoughts. I push off the wall to follow my brothers out the room, but Howler jabs an irate finger in my direction.
“You, stay.”
Great.
I wait for the room to empty out, and Blackjack gives me an unreadable look before he shuts the doors behind us.
Howler gestures to the chair our VP just vacated, and I hesitate only for a moment before I sink onto it.
He stares at me, his eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed as if trying to make sense of me. Good luck. I’m inside my head and even I can’t make sense of me.
