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Confusion battles inside me as I lay Sophia on the changing table. She tries to escape, and it’s a struggle to keep her in place.
“Use the mat on the floor,” Heidi’s voice sounds from behind me. “I don’t use the changing table anymore. She’s too wriggly, and I got scared she’d fall.”
I peer over my shoulder at her, hating the fact she’s no longer smiling and that sadness has crept back in. Fuck, I don’t want to make her feel like shit. It’s not her fault I’m a fucking screw-up.
“You want to help me out?”
She steps into the room, the towel still in place, and I try not to gawk at her as she sinks down next to me. She smells of soap and the strawberry-scented baby shampoo she uses to wash Sophia’s hair.
Together, we dry my daughter, though it’s a challenge. Sophia’s favourite game is to crawl away anytime someone attempts to do something she’s not keen on.
I don’t know how we manage to get her dried and dressed, but once she’s done, I release her and watch as she scampers on all fours over to her toys.
Heidi shakes her head. “Like I said, she’s a handful.”
My heart gives a weird thump, one I haven’t experienced for a long time as I take in Heidi’s wet hair and the slopes of her shoulders. Why the fuck is every inch of my body suddenly alert?
“Thanks for the assist,” I say.
“I know how hard it is. I thought things would be easier once she was mobile, but now, she’s just into everything. We’ll be in trouble when she starts walking.”
She stands, her legs right in my line of sight. That test on my resolve is weakening, and I can’t stop my gaze from drifting up to where the towel stops on her mid-thighs. I want to press my fingers into the soft flesh and part them so I can see her glistening cunt?—
“I better get dressed,” she says, snapping my attention to her face. “Can you watch Soph while I do?”
“Yeah,” I rasp, my balls so tight, I want to explode. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” She rushes off, and every instinct in me wants to go after her, but instead, I force my body to remain on the floor.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I mutter to myself, which earns me another dirty cackle from Sophia.
When I head to the shower myself, I lean against the tile, my hand wrapped around my cock, and as I pump my shaft, it’s Heidi that fills my mind.
CHAPTER 9
TRICK
Friday comes around too fast. I get swept up in the routine of taking care of Sophia and Heidi, losing track of the days. That routine now involves a morning wank in the shower, Heidi’s wet body and pert tits filling my thoughts as I explode my release over the tiles.
Yeah, I’m a real piece of shit, but I’d be a liar if I said seeing her naked hasn’t awoken a need in me.
She’s not avoiding me, but she’s also not going out of her way to be around me. I feel like a dick for making things awkward, though she was the one who didn’t lock the door.
On Friday morning, I push all thoughts of Heidi out of my head and leave while the house is still quiet. I haven’t told her about the beating I’m going to receive from all my club brothers. She’d only try to stop me, and I have to do this.
As I step into the common room, my brothers are already here, waiting. I shrug out of my kutte and fold it carefully, treating it with the respect I should have all those months I was running around killing Pioneers against my president’s orders.
I place it on the nearest tabletop, my T-shirt following until I’m left in just my jeans and boots. Slowly and methodically, the knives I’m carrying follow next until I’m completely disarmed.
Exposed, I don’t look at any of my brothers as I move into the centre of the room, which has been cleared of tables and chairs.
Howler steps up to me, his hard gaze roaming over my face. I don’t know whether it’s regret, disappointment, or irritation in his expression, but I deserve all three.
“You still sure you want to do this?”
Even if I wanted to pull out, I can’t. I would lose face with my brothers, and I’m not a fucking coward.
“Yeah,” I say, “I’m ready.”
