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“Do you think she gave anything away to Walsh?”
“No,” I say and my answer is hard as I glare at Jase. He stares back, unmoving, but there’s sympathy in his expression.
“He can’t prove anything,” Carter says between us, cutting through the thinly veiled tension.
“Since when do we let someone make us feel threatened?”
“Since he has evidence that will put me away for life,” Jase answers me. “We tread carefully until Declan can find something on him and get rid of every shred of proof Walsh has.”
“He’s digging into everything he can so we’ll work with him,” Carter says, then clears his throat and sits back farther in his chair. “I’ll send him a message, letting him know not to go near Addison and that his concern is unwarranted.”
“A message?”
“It’s the safe?—”
Anger forces me to rise from my seat. “A fucking message?”
“Calm down.”
“You aren’t the one who lost a baby! I lost my child.” The strength in my voice is all but forgotten as I voice it for the first time. They already know, but I haven’t said it yet. I haven’t had the audacity to breathe that truth to life. “Your wife is still pregnant. Mine isn’t.” Everything cracks. The air, my voice, my damn insides shatter to brittle shards.
They sit there in silence as I slowly retake my seat. Just breathe. Calm down. How can I do either when everything is falling apart?
Jase’s firm hand squeezes my forearm as he tells me, “I know it’s difficult on her; we need to keep her safe and protected.”
“It was stress. That’s what the doctor said. She lost the baby and this bullshit isn’t stopping. It’s getting worse.”
All that surrounds me is silence. All that lingers inside of me is guilt. I don’t know how to fix this, and I don’t think anyone else knows either.
“She isn’t supposed to know anything. That was our deal. But she sees how tense everyone is. She knows how much danger we’ve been in. She’s witnessed shit firsthand… I don’t think she can handle this. She wasn’t supposed to know any details. That’s what she wanted.” The admission flows from me like a Catholic at church. Safe in the confessional, waiting to hear my penance, praying for it all to be okay. Just tell me what to do to make it all right.
“Maybe that’s the problem,” Carter suggests, and I lift my blurred gaze to his dark one.
“What?” At least my question is presentable.
“Maybe she should know,” Jase says before Carter. “Maybe if she knew details, she’d feel like she has more control. Control is a damn good way to deal with stress. Even if it’s only in details and not action.”
I don’t have time to answer; a knock at the door interrupts the conversation. It’s a soft rap, quick but firm.
Before Carter can tell whoever it is to come in, the heavy door creaks open, bringing with it the light from the hall, and Addison’s shadow spills into the room before she does. Her hand stays on the edge of the door when she asks, “Is it all right if I come in?”
My brothers don’t answer for me, but I nod once.
The room’s so quiet I can practically hear her swallow as she steps into it, not shutting the door for privacy. “I just remembered something. Something I didn’t tell you.” Our eyes lock as she wrings her fingers around one another. Her hair’s still damp from the shower, making it look darker than her dirty-blonde should be. Her lack of sleep is just as evident. Still, she’s beautiful.
She clears her throat, staring at the intricately woven rug beneath the desk and stopping a small distance from me in her bare feet.
Her small form clothed in loose pajamas is at odds with the three of us. She belongs here though. She is my counterpart in every way. I only wish I didn’t hurt her like I do.
“He brought up my last name,” she finally says clearly. Her admission makes a deep crease settle in my forehead.
“Fawn?” I question and that gets Jase’s attention.
She nods, glancing between Jase and me. “He asked if I was related to Bethany.” She speaks directly to Jase as if he’d have an answer, but he wears the same expression I do.
“I never really knew my family, so… I don’t know.” The insecurity in her tone is undeniable, as is her curiosity.
“You should ask her,” Jase comments. “We can have dinner tomorrow night.”
