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Walter eyes her with that penetrating stare. “What’s really troubling you, Koala?”
Holly hesitates. “I took another step today.”
He tilts his head. “Which step?”
“Dual therapy.”
“Dual therapy?” His voice catches. “Two psychedelics simultaneously?”
“Yes. MDMA and ketamine.”
Walter’s eyes widen. “And?”
“Six of the seven clients tolerated it well.”
“And the seventh?”
“Not so well.” Holly describes Elaine’s intense dysphoric reaction and their awkward embrace. “The irony is she’s my only pro bono client in the group. Elaine came to me desperate for help after hiding an opioid addiction for years. She melted my resistance with her neediness.”
“You always did have a penchant for bringing home strays. Remember that kitten you found and foisted on your grandmother and me?”
“It’s different with Elaine. Turns out she suffered terrible sexual abuse as a young girl. And those memories only surfaced during our therapy.”
“The poor woman.” Walter sighs. “Still Holly, you can’t afford even one tiny misstep.”
“She’ll be OK,” Holly says, sounding more certain than she is.
“Why try dual therapy now? When your work has the attention of those who really matter?”
“We discussed this, Papa. You agreed. It’s the next frontier for psychedelics.”
“But the timing is poor. As you said, you’re under a microscope. If it doesn’t go perfectly, this could be the final frontier.”
“That’s a bit melodramatic, isn’t it?”
“Maybe. Don’t forget I’ve lived through this before.”
“Lived through what?”
“The repercussions of serious people, including doctors and scientists, being too ambitious, too aggressive, with psychedelics. People not unlike you.”
Holly dismisses the suggestion with a flick of her wrist, though she understands her grandfather’s concern. Why introduce dual therapy now when her newfound fame only adds to the risk?
But Holly knows exactly why. She intuited that the group needed more than a single psychedelic agent to hang on to their sobriety—or in Liisa’s case, to find it. And if she could show that dual therapy is effective for the most recalcitrant of addicts, imagine how many others could be helped? Maybe even cured? And how good would that be for her own reputation and career, not to mention sales of her upcoming book?
“What does the esteemed Herr Professor Laing think of your new clinical adventure?” Walter asks.
“Let’s not go there.”
“He doesn’t approve?”
“You’ll have to ask Aaron. We’re still separated.”
“But will you remain so?”
“Only time will tell, Papa,” she grumbles, but her grandfather has reason for his skepticism.
Holly and Aaron have been separated for six months. The second separation in their volatile ten-year marriage. Both times, Aaron’s professional insecurity and jealousy over her professional success—which often manifested as derision or spite—coupled with his possessiveness, had pushed Holly to the breaking point. And their issues are only compounded by Graham, the troubled one of Aaron’s two grown sons from his previous marriage. But Holly acknowledges that her laser focus on her own career has also affected her ability to prioritize Aaron’s needs.
