AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“When?”
“The day she overdosed.”
Holly closes her eyes and sees Elaine slumped in the chair again, the needle at her feet. She must have overdosed shortly after the tribe’s visit. A question, unbidden, comes to mind: Could one of you have been involved?
CHAPTER 18
JJ, who is the last appointment of the day, sits uncharacteristically still in the chair across from Holly. Unlike previous visits, JJ is dressed plainly in jeans and a simple black top. Her bracelets are gone. And her mood is as subdued as her outfit. Usually, the animated socialite is painfully forthcoming on everything from her alcoholism to her multiple failed marriages. Normally, she laughs freely and often. She cries openly whenever she discusses the series of devastating miscarriages that crushed her dreams of motherhood. And JJ usually shows up to her appointments with food or other small gifts—candles, potpourri, and assorted bric-a-brac—for Holly and Tanya, despite Holly’s attempts to dissuade her.
Not only did JJ show up empty-handed today, but she has kept her eyes fixed to the floor and hardly uttered more than a few words since sitting down.
Unable to engage JJ on anything else, Holly finally raises the topic of Elaine. “I understand the whole group visited Elaine the day she died.”
JJ shoots forward in her seat. “Who told you?”
“Does it matter?”
JJ shakes her head adamantly. “It wasn’t my idea to go!”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just curious why you went as a group.”
JJ’s gaze falls to her lap. “It was a mistake.”
“A mistake?”
“I mean… look what ended up happening.”
“I’m not following, JJ,” Holly says. “Are you suggesting Elaine’s overdose was somehow related to the group’s visit?”
“No, no.” JJ shifts in her chair. “But Elaine was beside herself. And us being there wasn’t helping one bit. Plus…”
Holly waits for her to finish the thought.
JJ shakes her head. “The optics are bad.”
“Bad how?”
“Just plain bad.”
“Why? Because it would look like you were all acting in your own self-interest? Pressuring Elaine into silence?”
“All of it!” JJ stares at Holly with eyes that border on frantic. “Just terrible.”
After the comment, JJ retreats back into near silence. She appears to be relieved as the session ends, and she hurries out of the office without so much as a goodbye.
As soon as JJ is gone, Holly leans back in her chair and stares at the ceiling fixture, barely conscious of the soft thrum of the central AC in the background. Aside from waving goodbye to Tanya, who tentatively pokes her head into the office to say she is going home, Holly barely moves a muscle in the next fifteen minutes. She realizes she should be documenting the group’s response to Elaine’s death or working on a chapter for her book, which her publisher wants to take to market as soon as possible, but she feels absolutely drained. Not so much from the long office day, but rather from the relentless swirl of recent events.
Holly is relieved that five of the six remaining group members are eager to resume their ketamine therapy. JJ was less committal, probably because she seems to have taken Elaine’s death so much harder than any of the others.
Elaine continues to weigh heavily on Holly’s mind, too. She can’t believe how many people are aware of Elaine’s accusations. It’s bad enough that Graham found out, but it bothers Holly even more that the whole tribe knows. She can’t believe they went to see Elaine en masse. Had they really thought they could talk her out of those allegations? Did their visit help push her to overdose? Or did one of them actually lend a hand?
Holly’s phone buzzes on her desk. She can tell from the distinct staccato pattern that Aaron is calling, but she doesn’t reach for it. She has already ignored two of his previous calls and only responded to his texts with a single, deliberately terse reply: Sorry, tied up for the day.
Her charged conversation with Graham aside, Holly regrets having slept with Aaron. It was the wrong message to send him when she is still so doubtful about their future.
“At least you’re consistent,” she mutters to herself, thinking of how screwed up her personal and professional lives are.
Holly’s eyes drift to the slot under her desk where her purse sits. Even though its clasp is closed, she can sense the DMT pen inside. She thinks again of the peace it brought her the last time she vaped. Holly knows how unprofessional it would be to vape in her own office but, unable to resist the temptation, she digs the pen out of the purse. Clutching it tightly in her palm, she heads over to the group therapy room. After closing the door behind her, she lowers herself onto the same chair where Elaine used to sit.
