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His pinched smile betrays his annoyance. “Even easier than that.”
“Last night was lovely, Aaron. But it doesn’t change anything.”
He eyes her incredulously. “Do you have any idea how many married couples would kill for what we still have after ten years? That kind of connection and passion?”
Unshaven, his salt-and-pepper hair ruffled, and his housecoat worn, he looks a little haggard to her. Older, too. But Holly still finds Aaron attractive in that same nerdy intellectual way that originally caught her eye. She has always been a sucker for that look. “Passion has never been our problem,” she says.
He strokes her cheek lightly. “Graham’s doing better. He won’t be an issue for us.”
Not only will he always be an issue for us, he’s proof of your fallibility as a father and a therapist. But she sees no point in arguing. “It’s not only him.”
“We have other challenges. Of course. What couple doesn’t ten years into a marriage? But we always do better as a team. Take, for example, what you’ve gone through this past week. Hasn’t it helped to have me around?”
“You know it has, Aaron. And I hope I’ve been clear how appreciative I am.”
“You have,” he says. “OK, enough about that. How are you feeling?”
“Confused,” she admits.
He cups her chin. “It’s been a while.”
“I meant about Elaine.”
“Oh.” He takes his hand from her face. “You’re still not willing to give yourself a break?”
“More than willing. Believe me, if I could just switch off the guilt, I would.” Holly pauses. She still can’t fathom how Elaine could have injected herself. It doesn’t make sense. But she doesn’t have the energy to rehash it with him. “You did make an excellent point yesterday, though. About the other patients. The ones that psychedelic therapy has helped.”
“Me?” he asks in mock surprise. “What’s that old saying? Give an infinite number of monkeys a typewriter and eventually one of them will write a Shakespearean sonnet.”
“Well, Curious George, I think you might’ve typed one yesterday.” She chuckles. “I do have other clients. As a matter of fact, six of them alone in Elaine’s group. They’re all doing better on psychedelic therapy. All of them still sober or abstinent.”
“What becomes of that group now?”
Holly has been pondering that very question. After Elaine’s death, Holly canceled the group’s weekly ketamine infusion, but she didn’t call off the one-on-one sessions, which are scheduled for tomorrow. She wonders how many of them, if any, will show up. And will they still see themselves as a tribe after losing one of their own?
CHAPTER 16
It’s been thirty-two years since Simon last registered a song on the Billboard top twenty, or hit any other significant list, but his concerts still sell out stadiums. And he is recognized almost anywhere he goes, which is the one thing Simon would change about celebrity. It’s also why he usually has his meals, especially ones involving business, in private. But JJ insisted on meeting at this trendy café, no doubt, he suspects, because of their misunderstanding last month inside his home.
Simon now finds himself wearing sunglasses indoors in a corner booth, pretending not to notice the people noticing him. Especially the balding guy two tables over with the chunky, blue-framed glasses, who keeps glancing his way as if witnessing an epiphany.
JJ didn’t tell Simon why she wanted to meet. Nor did she mention that Salvador would be joining them. But after she sits down between the two men, JJ makes it clear that she tried to convene the whole tribe. “Reese is stuck in LA with a deposition,” she says. “Baljit had to go to the desert on business. And Liisa went to San Diego to visit her daughter.”
Salvador grimaces. “Liisa has a daughter?”
“One big happy family,” JJ says.
“You’d think she might have mentioned that in group session.” Salvador huffs. “The rest of us are here bearing our messy souls. And this superior Scandi bitch hides a daughter from us?”
“Technically, Finns are Nordic, not Scandinavian,” JJ says.
“Now you sound like her!”
Simon turns to Salvador. “What does Liisa ever share in group? Aside from constantly reminding us how in the know she is. Shit, I have no idea what the woman is even hooked on.”
“Xanax.” Salvador eyes him knowingly. “As in downers.”
Simon grunts a laugh. “That figures, doesn’t it?”
