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“You did.” I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me. “You said you’ve been busy, but this… That’s why you asked about Yejedin when we went to the beach.”
“Dianna.”
Blood pounded in my ears. “You’ve been lying to me.”
“No, I simply did not tell you all I was doing.”
“Why?”
“Because your healing is—”
“Oh, save it,” I snapped. “I don’t care about my healing, and don’t use that as an excuse. We both know you went down there to kill him.”
He just stared at me, confirming everything without saying a word. I slammed my spoon down hard enough to break it.
“It is not your vengeance to seek!”
“Isn’t it?” he snapped back, meeting fire with fire as he always did. Never harsh or cruel, but never afraid. And a flicker of flame in me bent toward him and his indomitable will. “You didn’t just lose a sister, Dianna. I lost you in every way possible. He hurt you. He will pay for that whether or not you think it’s acceptable. I didn’t tell you because you would have run to confront him. You’re a fool to think I’d let you near him without your powers. You mean too much to me.”
My anger pulled back a fraction, even as my chest ached. “Don’t try to calm me down with pretty words when we both know the truth. You’re doing it again. Shutting me out. Just like at Drake’s. You’re avoiding me. I had to practically beg you to get you to spend even a day with me.”
“No, I’m not, and no, you didn’t. I told you I was busy.”
“Yes, searching for him to take away the last thing I have….” The words died in my throat. It was the last thing I had of her, the last thing I could do for her. I’d had the chance, and I’d chosen to flee, to return to the god king staring at me. “Look, I get it. You don’t need me anymore. You have them. They can help and fight with you while I wait in a fucking castle for you to return.”
He recoiled as if I had slapped him. “That is the farthest thing from true.”
“Well, how would I know?”
“Listen, yes, I opened Yejedin to find him. I wanted to kill him so it would be over. I want you safe, Dianna, and I am willing to eliminate anything that would hurt you in this world and the next. But when we got there, we found something I am uncomfortable discussing in the open like this.”
“Well, it’s not like you will discuss it when we get back. You’ll leave. Again,” I snapped, leaning a fraction away from him.
“I am not the one who left, Dianna. You did.”
And it was the truth, the absolute truth. Yet, here I was, acting as if he needed to tell me everything he did when I left, when I hurt him in every way possible, lied to him, used what he had taught me, and spat it back in his face. I had no right.
“You’re right,” I said. “I did leave, but killing Kaden feels like the only part of her I have left. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“I understand. I do, but death, even by your hands, will not bring you the peace you wish.” His gaze met mine, every bit of care and compassion swirling in those depths. I nodded, swallowing the growing lump in my throat.
“Is this all we are going to do? Argue?” I sighed. “I miss how we were.” Shock slapped his expression. “I miss how it was before it all went to shit.”
A soft smile curved his lips. “I mean, we still argued.”
I nodded, my anger fading as quickly as it had come.
“Dianna, I am trying. I really am trying to keep my head above water, help you, help the world, and defeat this psychopath. So, please, bear with me. I am not trying to keep things from you. Your life is more important than anything. I just can’t lose you again, and I am not sure how to handle all this.”
“Well, you don’t have to handle it alone. We used to rely on each other more.”
“I know. I just want you to… heal.”
“And I want to help.”
Samkiel sighed and pulled his hat off, running his hand through his hair, exhaustion etched into his features. It hit me, then. Just how tired he had been lately and how I was not helping but only adding to it. I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, not in the slightest. I pushed my anger aside because the truth was, I cared for him enough that I was worried about him.
“I’ve ruined this.” I blew out a long breath.
