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I picked at the fruit and took a small bite. “How long are you back?”
He stopped eating, and I was afraid I’d said something wrong. “I think our primary focus needs to be getting your powers back.”
Okay, deflection. Fine. I deserved that. I placed my hands on the counter. “And how exactly do we plan to do that?”
* * *
“We have been walking for hours. If the plan to get my powers back is to exhaust me, it’s working.” I sighed.
Samkiel had been quiet for the most part, which was unusual, but I didn’t press. At least he made us a trail as we ventured to wherever we were going. With a wave of his hand, a cobblestone path had formed through the undergrowth.
“What do you know about Yejedin?”
His voice startled me, and I stared at his back. “Not much. Why?”
He shrugged. “Research.”
I nodded but didn’t believe him. “Okay. Well, Kaden told me absolutely nothing about it. I didn’t even know it existed until I ran headfirst into another world bent on destroying him and myself. That’s all I got.”
He stopped as I kept going. “I apologize. There is—”
I stopped and spun toward him, tossing up my hands, the thought of my failure making me angsty once more. “There’s what?”
“Nothing.” He forced a smile and continued walking. “I have the council and others trying to learn more, is all.”
I fell into step with him, silence stretching between us once more. I hated silence so damn much. So to fill it, I said, “Kaden told me nothing. He never did. Not anything about himself or other dimensions. With him, it was: do this for me, and you’ll see your sister.”
“I know, and I apologize. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“But,” I cut him off, “it wasn’t always like that. In the beginning, it was different. He taught me how to survive, how to feed, and how to live with what I’d become.” I trailed my fingers over a brilliant orange blossom, releasing an exotic alien scent into the air. “He wasn’t always as cruel. A long, long time ago, it used to be different. We actually got along. I guess it’s kind of like us now, huh? Except I’m the cruel one.”
His face turned stern. “You are nothing like him.”
I dropped my hand to my side. “Others would disagree.”
“Others do not know you as I do.”
A smile tugged at my lips as we walked on. He said he knew me, but he didn’t know all of me. I wanted to share it with him. I wanted him to know everything. A part of me hoped it would be the final tipping point and he'd leave me alone forever, but that same part whispered what a liar I was.
“Kaden was my first.” I glanced up at Samkiel, wanting to gauge his reaction, but I saw only curiosity.
“First?”
I shrugged. “Not my first kiss but my first everything else.”
Realization flared in his eyes, and he nodded. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Gabby used to say that was why I put up with so much in the beginning. At the time, I thought I loved him.”
“Did you?” he asked, and I felt his eyes boring into the side of my face as if my answer meant something to him.
“No.” I shook my head. “I was young and naïve. Back then, I believed in the same stuff Gabby did. Then, a strange and powerful man saves my sister and me. He set the world at my fingertips, along with more power than I could imagine. Why would I not assume he cared? Even if he was….” I paused. “I told you before that I had tried to have a semi-normal relationship in an abnormal world, but it didn’t last.”
Samkiel nodded compassion and understanding in his eyes. The wind rustled the nearby trees, and the sun cast a violet glow across our path.
“When did it change?”
The snort that left me was as disgusting as the images that followed. “I don’t remember the exact time. Kaden grew distant. I don’t know why. Then I caught him with someone else. After that, I was an object of sex and power to him. I was merely a weapon. He never loved me.” I shrugged. I knew why my insecurities and jealousy were so damn bad. Kaden had broken my heart, but worse, he had destroyed my trust not only in others but in myself.
