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“I heard,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back.
My jaw tightened at how casual he sounded as if it were his right. She cursed me and called out for him. It was beyond idiotic to feel so much jealousy, yet my gut twisted with it.
“Calm your nerves, Your Majesty. There is no need for you to be envious. She calls to me for answers she is too afraid to receive from you.”
I tapped my fist against the table, a million and one thoughts running through my head.
“A part of me wants to forbid you from answering her call, but if she has questions and wishes not to speak to me, I want her to have the support she needs. I would never want her alone. Kaden kept her from friends and family for centuries. I would not do the same. If she reaches out, you may answer, but not before.”
Roccurem’s shadows swelled, the swirling mass of energy and nebulae dancing around his feet. “The mortals speak of stages of grief. Anger.”
Images of Onuna on fire flashed through my head.
“Denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I am afraid Dianna has only experienced two at the moment. You must be prepared for what’s coming. Her emotions will return. They may flow like the tide, some rushing forward quicker than others, some remaining dormant for a while or forever, but feelings will emerge regardless. You are the only one able to reach her now.”
I scoffed and rubbed my brow. Defeated would be the correct word for how I felt.
“I fear the only emotions she feels in my presence are hate and anger.”
“All that power, yet you still do not see.”
“Regardless of how she feels now, I will not abandon her, no matter how much she loathes me,” I said, my expression grim.
“Loathe would not be the terminology I would use to describe her feelings for you, Your Majesty.”
I scoffed. “You have not seen her with me then. She cannot stand the sight of me.”
“Not for the reasons you assume.”
“It’s never been like this before. With anyone. Why does she make me feel this way? I want to kill you. I want to hurt those who speak ill of her. This is not me. I am not that person. Yet your relationship, as platonic as it is, feels like a threat. I couldn’t even stand the thought of Camilla near her because she once cared for her. I almost killed her on Onuna. Do you know what that feels like? To know that I want to reduce anyone that threatens her to mere atoms. Some benevolent ruler I am. Maybe I am just what the stories say.”
“I told you love has power, but I never said it was good.” I glanced at him. He didn’t move even as his form began to fade. “A warning, god king. Be careful with your displays of affection for her. The council will see it as a threat.”
“A threat?”
“They do not see her as you always have, but then, few do. She invokes fear in most. It will be a problem, I am afraid.”
“They won’t touch her. No one will.” It was a vow, and I meant every word.
“It is not her I fear for, Your Majesty,” he said and faded from the room, leaving me in quiet contemplation once more.
Fifty-Three
Dianna. 91 Days.
I didn’t know how long I’d lain in bed or how much time had passed. The sun rose and fell. I slipped in and out of sleep, crying in both. Dreams of my childhood haunted me. My thoughts cycled, reminding me of where I was, what I was, and who I no longer had. All I knew was that my mind was my prison, and I was the jailer with the key. A key I didn’t know how to use, and to be honest, I didn’t know if I wanted my cell unlocked. The note she’d left me was smeared with my tears, but I refused to release it. I had read it over and over again, cursing the old dead gods.
Silver light shot across the sky, and I tracked its progress through the windows. My heart faltered, and I cursed myself, too.
He entered the house, and I turned over, covering my head with the blankets so tightly that no light could sneak in. I didn’t hear him enter the room, but I felt him. The bed shifted beneath his weight, a rough sigh leaving his lips.
“I know you’re not asleep.”
I said nothing.
“Have you been in bed this whole time?”
I grunted my response, a mix of fuck you and fuck off.
