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I leaned forward, not caring about my audience or the pain that threatened to crack my chest wide open. My hand traced the curve of his face, following the path to his jaw. Warmth and the softest prickle of stubble greeted my fingertips. My heart lurched. That damned face. The same face that, against all my fury and bitter rage, I still dreamt of. How could life have been so cruel as to show him to me, tease me with even the slightest possibility of a future, and then spit in my face with a cold and brutal reminder? He and I were not the same. Not an epic, sweeping tale. Not one of the romantic stories Gabby so loved, but enemies. One born from light, the other crafted from darkness.
Samkiel was right. The universe was cruel.
My eyes stung, holding back emotions I didn’t want to process. By the time Samkiel woke up, I would be long gone. I didn’t know why, and I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t keep from pressing my lips to his. It was a soft, quick goodbye kiss to the man who, regardless of everything, kept trying to save me.
“Maybe in another life,” I whispered before pulling away.
As I lifted my head, I noticed my ring on the bedside table, the intricately designed bone material of the forsaken blades gleaming darkly in the low light.
Thirty-Six
Samkiel
My father’s hand landed in the middle of the table. “And focus on other things besides the spoils of flesh. You are king now, Samkiel. You must use something else besides brute force to accomplish your means. Knowledge, my son, is more powerful than what head you can cleave from its shoulders or spear you can drive through your opponent. Always try peace. If you strike first, you can never take it back.”
My head tossed from side to side. Some force was keeping me here, keeping me trapped in my dreams. I felt the tiny, serrated fingers digging into my brain, pulling memories from my skull. I was in a room where water dripped off the walls, a thick musty scent filling the air. No, not a room. A cave? I spun, my feet hitting the jagged rock floor. I stepped toward a hollowed-out doorway, an opaque orange glow emanating from it. Beyond, I heard the slam of metal against metal—another battle. I shook my head, the voices calling to me, trying to take me from here. More loud banging came from the hall and the smell of… iron.
I promise not to leave your side...
Dianna. I spun toward her voice and left the dark cave room. I appeared back in Dianna’s room at the Vanderkai’s mansion. She sat on the lounge, her red gown flowing to the floor. I had made her that dress, and she took my breath away. She was looking up at me, playing with her fingers. It was a nervous tick of hers.
I lifted my hand and extended my pinky. “Promise?”
Pain flickered over her features. “I thought you didn’t want to promise anymore?”
“I am allowed to change my mind.” I nodded toward her hand, and she smiled. Yes, that’s what I wanted. I just wanted her to smile at me again.
She dipped her head and held out her pinky. I grasped it like a lifeline. Stay with me, I begged, even though I knew my growing feelings for her were wrong. When she was mad and not speaking to me, it was more than I could bear. My emotions were new to me and slipped my control. I knew she felt the small bolt of electricity just as I did, and I felt it to my core.
“Yes, I promise.”
I took a step forward. I just wanted to see Dianna again, hold her, and talk to her.
“It takes four of my best to hold him.”
I stopped. Hold me? That wasn’t a part of my memories with her. My nostrils flared, and my jaw ticked. Who would dare threaten to hold me? That voice filtered through my brain. It was one I’d never heard before. The scene around me melted away, and then I was halfway across the world in another room. Only this time, Dianna was backing away from me, her hand slightly raised. My own voice caught me off guard. I turned, seeing myself stride in. He walked right through me, the memory playing out.
“You slaughtered hordes of Ig’Morruthens,” Dianna whispered, and I saw the one thing I never wanted to see from her: fear.
“Yes.” I nodded slowly, but couldn’t she tell? Didn’t she know by now that I would never hurt her? Didn’t she know I would allow no one to harm her? She was everything to me. How could she not see?
“Is that what you would have done to me in the beginning?”
My eyes searched hers, my heart aching. Had I fallen so far? I couldn’t lie to her. Maybe in the past. “If it were necessary.”
“Is it necessary now?”
“No.” It felt like she had slapped me. I would have preferred she’d attacked me. “How could you ask me that? You are not a monster.”
Not to me, never me.
A thick buzz filled my mind. My hands went to my head, and I gritted my teeth. Pain, sharp and icy, hit my subconscious, causing the room to shake. Power I had never felt before burrowed deeper into my skull.
“A thousand plus worlds he has seen, yet when he dreams, he dreams of you.”
That voice again. Who was in my head?
I focused like I had been taught, breathing deep and slow. The room still shook as I concentrated, but my body twitched. It was a brief escape, but I was back in my room. The images were blurry, but I saw the four creatures above me. The hollows of their mouths were wide open, and their hands hovered above me.
