Page 50 of Signed With Love

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Page 50 of Signed With Love

Ez shakes her head. “That’s all on the Sanctum, JJ. Not you.”

“I know. I just need to convince myself of that.” JJ pauses halfway through flipping a page, one with the surname “Locke” printed across the top. “And I’ve been thinking about Chester a lot, too. He‍—he would take the conspiracy in stride, I think. He was always more critical of the Sanctum than I was. He wasn’t one wrong move away from defecting, but he… cared about the system enough to want to fix it. Even when the system itself was against his very existence.”

“You still miss him? And Bryant?”

JJ’s smile is sad. “Yeah. Every day. I’ve been worried about him, especially since we learned about the conspiracy, and‍—and I’ve been worried about Bryant, too. She might be a purebred, but she’s the youngest of her bloodline, so she definitely doesn’t know about the Sanctum working with the Chain.” He hesitates. “I still think about Roma a lot, too.”

Pain slices through Ez’s chest. “Well, we don’t need to worry about Gutierrez anymore,” she says curtly, and even she’s surprised by how bitter her voice sounds. “She got exactly what she deserved. Exactly what shewanted.”

JJ’s expression shifts. “I’m… not so sure about that, actually.”

Ez laughs hollowly. “Don’t tell me she got in your head. Don’t tell me youbelievedany of what she said.”

“That’s the thing,” JJ says. “I think I do. Honestly, the fact that she was on assignment initially makes melesssuspicious of her motives than I was before.”

The words take Ez off guard. “What?”

“Roma always lived in the shadow of other people,” JJ says. “At first, it was Naomi. After Naomi defected, it was the scandal she left behind‍—the scandal that Roma was desperate to erase. Sometimes, it was Bryant.” He looks away. “Sometimes, I think it was even me. Not with the Council, obviously‍—I was just an attack dog to them‍—but in battle. She… thought I was braver than her. Because I was always the first to volunteer for a dangerous assignment or put myself between my strike team and a threat. But she didn’t understand that it wasdesperation,not bravery. Desperation to be appreciated, to be accepted, to even benoticed.That‍—that was all I had left. Or that’s how it felt, at least.”

Vividly, Ez remembers how easily Roma was able to trick JJ away from Cass a few months ago by giving him another mission to get behind. Her heart hurts. “You’re a lot more than that, JJ.”

“I know. Mainly because Cass makes it a point to tell me that at least twice a week. But…” His smile fades. “Ez, Roma never would’ve agreed to work with you on her own. She never would’ve gone out of her way to befriend a demon, especially one she blamed for taking me away from them. It was just so against her nature, so at odds with her conservative tactical decisions, so counter to her entire belief system.” He shrugs one shoulder. “But once we found out that the mega-rifts were her fault, everything else fell into place.”

“Yeah, because everything else was just part of her con,” Ez says, an edge creeping into her voice. “Everything else wasfake.”

JJ shakes his head. “I don’t think it was. First and foremost, because Roma is a terrible actress.”

Ez snorts with surprise. “I think she might be better than you remember.”

“No, really,” he says, and his lips twitch. “Back in March, I should’ve been able to see through her right away. I was just sohappyto have a friend on the outside that I ignored all the warning signs.” His smile falters. “But Roma also has a strong moral code. There’s a lot that she wouldn’t do just for an assignment. A lot that‍—‍” He hesitates. “A lot that, based on what you two said last week, I think she did.”

Ez tastes bile. “Yeah, well,” she says shortly. “Your Roma has clearly changed a lot since you were last on speaking terms with her.”

“You tell me, then,” JJ whispers. “What happened between you two?”

Ez’s stomach roils. “We worked together to close the mega-rifts. We became friends, or so I thought. I was stupid enough to insist on including her in the conspiracy, so that forced us closer.”And closer. And closer. And…“And then we sort of had a moment after we first cast our counterspell, and then that Moment turned into some pretty hot sex, and then‍?—‍”

Tell me, then. If I left the Sanctum and stayed here with you. What would our lives be like?

Ez’s throat tightens. “And then everything came crashing down,” she finishes curtly. “She really had me going for a while, too. Really made me believe she was going to defect. Really made me believe that‍—‍”That she felt the same way I did.“That she wanted to stay with us.”

“Ez,” JJ says gently, “Roma wouldn’t have done any of that just to sell a con. Frankly, I’m shocked that she even let you temporarily deactivate the Sanctum’s enchantments. That’s a level of trust I didn’t even know she was fully capable of. Trust doesn’t come easily to her.”

“She only did it to fix hermistake,Jackson,” Ez snaps. Her hands are trembling the slightest bit, and she cinches them into fists to hide it. “A mistake she could’ve told us about weeks ago, remember? She knew the spell that sparked the epidemic, knew there wasn’t an outside enemy to investigate, knew exactly how to end it. She knew all that, but she still hid it from us.”

“Probably because she was afraid we would react badly,” JJ says. “Which, you know, we very much did.”

“Because she didn’ttellus!” Ez hisses. “We caught her in the act. Caught her in alie.And she was trying to convince us not to check the memoryscapes at all, remember? She was just trying to save her own skin.”

“Maybe,” JJ says, but he sounds unconvinced. “But I’ve known Roma for over a decade now, Ez. I know how she talks, how she reasons, how she reacts‍—all of it. And everything last week? That all seemed real. When she talked about potentially leaving the Sanctum, that seemed real.” He meets her eyes. “When she said that she was falling for you, that‍—that seemed real.”

Ez’s jaw hurts. With a start, she realizes that she’s clenching her teeth and forces them to relax. “Yeah, well. I doubt that.”

JJ’s lips press together. “And you? How did you feel about her?”

“Well, I trusted her,” Ez says brusquely. “I respected her. I‍—I wanted to get closer to her. Wanted to know more about her. Wanted to study magic with her and cast spells with her and‍—‍” She cuts herself off, glaring down at her knees. “I… liked her. A lot. And she used that to her advantage.”

“Roma Gutierrez is a lot of things,” JJ says softly, “but she doesn’t lead people on. Not like that. The Sanctum might have put her in your path initially, but‍—but I think her feelings for you were sincere.”


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