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“I did. And it was a LIFE CHANGING kiss. But then she stopped me.”
“She stopped you? Why? What happened?”
“She said I was too fucking drunk and anything between us would be too fucking complicated and her loyalty was to Alex.”
Erin looked thoughtful for a moment. “I mean, you were pretty drunk.”
“I know. I’ve made an utter fool of myself, haven’t I?”
Erin screwed up her face. “I mean, it might not be so bad. Nobody else knows and there is no way that Julia will make a big deal out of it. You like her though, don’t you?”
Vic nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I’m fucking afraid of. I think I really like her. Don’t tell Alex though, you promise, right?”
Erin nodded and Vic knew she could trust her. “I promise.”
Later that day, Vic took Hyzenthlay for a little walk around the gardens. “Okay, Tiny One, we need to walk Audrey and get some fresh air because Mummy has a hangover and this will definitely help.” Vic hoisted her backpack with Hyzenthlay in it onto her shoulders and set off for a walk with Audrey.
Dogs always helped every situation. Dogs and time outside in the fresh air. It could clear the mind.
Of all the people to find when she was trying to clear her mind, she saw Julia sitting on a bench up near the rose garden. She looked upset.
Vic paused for a second knowing that Julia hadn’t noticed her yet. She could turn away and Julia wouldn’t know she had been there, she wouldn’t have to see her. But Julia looked really sad and Vic felt sorry for her. She walked towards her.
Julia looked up and her lovely eyes were red as though she had been crying. Her long dark eyelashes flickered as she blinked tears away. It was the first time Vic had seen Julia in jeans, dark blue, smart denim jeans that were tight around Julia’s legs and a casual shirt. For the first time, Julia wasn’t wearing much makeup. She looked beautiful. Beautiful and sad.
“Hey,” Vic said, “tell me to go away if you want to, but you look sad and I wondered if you might like some company. But, if I am the wrong person for company right now, you can just say and I can go away. And, I’m honestly so sorry if I upset you last night. I didn’t mean to upset you at all. I only wanted to make you happy.”
Hyzenthlay gurgled.
Tears fell from Julia’s eyes even though it was obvious she was trying not to cry in front of Vic.
“It’s not you, it’s not last night, I promise. You can sit for a bit, if you want to, the company will probably help.”
Vic took the backpack off and released Hyzenthlay, putting her on the grass where she rolled around and tried to use the bench to pull herself up.
Vic took Julia’s lovely, perfectly manicured hand and squeezed it.
“It’s Helen’s birthday today. I’m sorry, every year on her birthday, I just have a moment where I think of her and what could have been, and it is just so unbearably sad. I just hate what happened to her so much. We had everything, and then suddenly, she was so cruelly taken. I try not to let losing her define me. I try so hard to make my life about something else, but some days, like her birthday, I just can barely stop crying.”
More tears fell from Julia’s eyes and Vic took her in her arms and held her close. She wanted to care for her and make it better. Julia smelled feminine and floral as she held her close.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you, you can cry if you need to. Sometimes it just helps to cry it out, right?”
Vic rocked her and Julia sobbed into Vic’s shoulder. “It is fucking horrific what happened to Helen and I am so so sorry. Nobody deserves to go through a loss like that.” Vic rocked her some more. She smelled Julia’s hair and it smelled of fruity shampoo. She wanted to kiss Julia’s hair, but she didn’t.
They stayed like that for a few minutes with Julia crying and Vic soothing her. When Julia’s tears eventually stopped, she pulled away.
“Thank you. Thank you for helping me. I’m so sorry I’m such a mess.”
Vic took both of her hands and smiled at her. “Hey, stop it. Firstly, you are never a mess. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And secondly, I think I owe you. Remember when I thought I needed to get an abortion and you came with me to the clinic? And also remember when I needed a birthing partner and you were 100 percent there for me? So, I think it is absolutely my turn to look after you today. Are you supposed to be working today?”
Julia shook her head. Her hair was long and loose and beautiful even when she was dressed casually. “No. It’s my day off. They don’t need me today.”
“What are you doing the rest of the day?” Vic asked, a plan formulating in her head.
“Probably lying in bed eating ice cream and crying about my dead wife?” Julia suggested.
“Absolutely not,” Vic said, confidently. “Let’s go into London. I think you need to do stuff. Helen wouldn’t want you to be sad all day, would she?”
