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I have to laugh as I imagine him pouring his heart out like that on the night of Liam’s wedding. “No, I guess you couldn’t have. I might have gotten a little freaked out—”
“The last thing I wanted to do was scare you off—”
I press my finger to his lips. “I might have gotten a little freaked out because I want all that too and didn’t want to ruin the mood.”
“Why’d you shut me out, then?” There’s no accusation in his voice. He’s hurt, but curious.
I hesitate, mulling over how to put into words something I’ve kept tucked away in a festering part of my heart for as long as I can remember.
My mom and Elijah know my reasons, even if they tried to talk me out of hiding from Ben, but they don’t know how much my dad’s abandonment affected me. My mom was devastated by it, but she picked up the pieces and made a better life for us. Elijah took his anger and became determined to be the best person he could be. But me? I was hurt. Angry and hurt, and that never went away.
It eroded my trust and left me with the knowledge I could never have a family of my own. I couldn’t let myself trust someone enough to build a life together and then handle the inevitable loss when they decided it was time to move on.
Ben says my name gently, and I look at him through tear-blurred eyes.
“It’s my dad,” I blurt before I can keep it in any longer.
Those three words are like a lead weight off my heart, giving oxygen to a place inside me that’s been closed off for too long.
“You heard from him? What did he do now?” Ben’s about to pounce before I shake my head.
“Nothing recent. I can’t let go of how easily he left us, though.”
His eyes widen with understanding. “And now you’re scared I’ll leave?”
I nod, not trusting my voice.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
I believe him. Ben is solid and dependable. He would never ditch me or our baby. I’m not in the same position my mom was. I have her and Elijah. Hell, I know I have the entire Steel family, too, once they know my secret.
My stomach lurches when I realize what’s really been holding me back. “But what if I am just like him? What if I leave one day?” The words scrape out of me, rough like sandpaper against my tongue.
“You won’t.”
“I left Clover Creek like it was nothing.”
“You mean when you turned eighteen? When you were figuring out what you wanted to do with your life? That’s not the same as leaving your wife and kids behind like they were nothing.”
The scorn in his voice tells me Elijah’s shared some of his feelings about our dad with him, too.
He watches me and shakes his head. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“How do you know?” I whisper.
“You can trust me.” He grasps my hand, stroking the back of my palm with his thumb. “I’m not going anywhere. And I can see your heart. You’re not either. I trust you.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you giving me a second chance?”
He smirks, pausing for a second to check me out despite my ratted hair and tear-soaked face. “Because you’re worth it. Because I’m madly in love with you—even if you won’t say it back. Because I know relationships take work and I’m committed to showing up every single day in whatever capacity our relationship needs to thrive.”
Could he be more perfect? It’s like he sees the mess that’s me and asks for more.
I hold his chin in my hands and study his face. He means every damn thing he’s said. The festering wound in my heart stings a little less as we stare at each other. In time, I know his love will help it heal all the way.
