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nineteen
Ethan
My suited physique stared back at me as I slowly knotted my tie. Despite the precise movement of my fingers, the tie didn’t seem to come out well. Every time I loosened my grip, I was met with a slightly crooked knot.
As weird as it sounded, I hated knotting ties. But that wasn't the reason for my failed trials this morning.
Dr. Amelia didn’t have the answer, or better still, she didn't say what I wanted to hear. I let my mind replay our conversation.
She made a small gesture with her hand. “Please, by all means.”
I sat, staring at her for a while, wondering what exactly I was doing here. “Lately, there has been some inconvenience.”
She straightened her spine. “Inconvenience with what, Mr. Thorne?”
“With my thoughts.”
I watched her brows furrow slightly. “I don’t understand. Could you break down these thoughts for me?”
“No”.
“Oh.” The surprise on her face was evident in her voice. “I may not be able to help you if I don't understand the cause of your inconvenience.”
I didn't need help.
“I don't need help.”
She blinked. I could see the confusion in her eyes. It was the same confusion that was swirling in my mind.
“… Just clarity,” I continued.
There was a small pause before she replied. “Ah, I see.”
“In the world of business, danger manifests when the risks outweigh the reward. These thoughts that I have are causing inefficiency in my schedule, and frankly, it's distracting.”
“Okay.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line. “So you're thinking since you're calculative, you shouldn't be teetering on the edge of a possible risk. Is that correct?”
“Affirmative.”
“For you to consider taking the risk on this project, it means the reward is attractive. Perhaps it is over the bar.”
Project…
“The reward is pleasure. Personal gratification.”
The wrinkled lines around the corner of her eyes drew together even more. “Help me out, Mr. Thorne. What project gives a reward of pleasure?”
“That's not why I'm here.”
I could see the wheels turning in her eyes.
“The risk at hand is very dangerous and would cost me a valuable friendship. I know this, yet I can't seem to put myself in check.”
“Only two things, Mr. Thorne, can make any man feel so… out of control,” she breathed. “A failed project… or a woman.”
She continued. “For me to help you gain clarity, you need to tell me what it is.”
