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Jesus Christ!
“What?” My fist loosened.
“So, you should be thankful that I am at least a wife in that regard.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” I snarled.
“You know me, Ethan. You know I like to dare.”
She brushed past me, hitting my arm with her shoulders as she did so. I fisted my hair, the anger doubling in my bloodstream. But all I could do was watch as she rapidly backed me against the wall.
***
Present Moment
She threatened me with other things. That she’d leave and take Sophie. That she’d make sure Sophie grew up to hate me. But it was never that she’d ruin all I’d worked for.
That was the night I knew I needed anger management. I was smart enough to know her gimmicks– that she was only drawing me closer to a cliff. One where I’d either jump off myself or she’d tip me over the edge.
I thought of divorce countless times. But what then was love if I couldn’t persevere during her phase of emotional tantrums? How, then, would my daughter live a normal life?
I was a man and needed to hold it together. Even if it cost me my mental health.
I arrived at Doctor Amelia’s forty minutes later. I followed the usual part from the door to the hallway. In four strides, I was in front of her door.
I knocked and entered when she responded.
“Oh, Mr-”
“I need to talk.” There wasn't any need for formalities.
She made a small gesture with her hand. “Please, by all means.”
eighteen
Evie
It was another day at home. I sat with my legs crisscrossed, a few meters from Sophie, who mimicked my stance. “Now, we’re going to focus on breathing. I want you to keep your eyes shut and listen to your heartbeat.”
I peeked at her and saw her eyes were shut.
“Good.”
“How many heartbeats can you count?”
A part of me hoped she’d respond. But there was no answer.
You’ll not only be helping her. You'll help me too.
“It’s okay, Sophie. Just focus.”
Meditation would help cultivate a sense of calm for any internal turmoil she might have. It would also reduce worry.
I continued to stare at her. She was in a spaghetti-strapped Barbie singlet and pink bum shorts. Her cheeks were a bit flushed, probably because she was doing this for the first time.
Her long lashes fluttered intermittently. It showed how hard she was trying. I didn't have much time to continue staring when the loud blaring of my phone interrupted.
Shit. I thought I put that on silent. I quickly hunted for it in the pile of softballs before I found it. When I saw the caller ID, I sneaked a glance at Sophie. I was surprised to see that, despite my rummaging, her eyes were still shut.
