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I just wanted to leave. I wanted to quit without the feeling of guilt pulling me back. Was this even the right time to quit?
Did Ethan even deserve to know? If he did know I should stand up now, walk to his office and spill the news.
Why was I scared? Confused?
Because I was inevitably fucked.
My stomach curled in sadness. The hurricane of thoughts collapsed my mind.
Did I want a child? Was this the fucking right time?
Sophie was just recovering, the issue with Laura was still hanging in the air so technically everything, on both ends, was still at stake.
Then I'd waltz into his office and tell him I was carrying his child?
My hair clung to the wetness on my cheek as I shook my head.
Was it even good news or bad news?
Before I could think of an answer, the telephone rang.
My heart was pounding in my head when I answered it. “Okay.” My voice was hard.
It should have been this way when we fucked in the testing facility. I should have known sex with him was stabbing myself with a burning knife. I should have stood my ground.
Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I tightened my fist against the table.
If only Mom was here, she’d tell me what to do.
Shutting my eyes, I attempted to steady my breathing.
No, maybe I didn't need Mom. This was what I always did, allowing circumstances to make decisions for me.
I needed to be strong. For me... Instinctively, my hand reached my belly— for us…
I waited a bit more to allow my eyes dry. Whatever decision I’d make, I'd do so in strength… not weakness.
I exited my office and reached his. When I knocked, he answered. “Come in.” His voice was soft. That's how soft his voice had been since the event with Laura.
I entered and made my way to his table.
“Have a seat.” He gestured to the usual chair. Holding a thick breath, I sat.
I didn't know why he called me, but— I furrowed when he brought out two plates from the drawer. Rice bowl.
They furrowed even more when he brought out another. Chicken salad.
Then his hands reappeared even fuller. The small box like carton was filled with turkey and cheese and drinks.
This wasn't what I expected. Food and an anticipating Ethan.
He held my gaze, breathing through slightly parted lips.
My heart did a three-sixty, melting at his gaze. I tried to decipher what was going on.
“Lunch.” He suddenly spoke.
Of course, it was lunch.
