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My stomach churned at the thought of what I'd done. I was disgusted with myself.
On the plane ride, at home, and now. I'll forever feel this way. She could have been my daughter too.
If the roles were reversed and I was James, how would I feel? No. James would never even do such. He would never almost have a one-night stand, talk more of lusting after another man’s daughter. Let alone his best friend’s daughter.
He would never be fucking aroused at the sight of someone’s daughter in a nightgown.
That was the difference between us; where he was quite conservative, I didn't care.
Fuck. It was all wrong — very wrong. I'm forty-two, she's twenty-one.
That night was a mistake and one that’d never happen again. Never.
My heart skipped a beat as the words twirled in my mind. Never. I clenched my eyes shut before fisting my palm. I should have taken the easy way out.
I should have declined James's proposal on the spot. Distance, after all, was the best way to get rid of her and any…odd feelings.
But I couldn't let that stand in the way of help. I owed James a favor. Heck, I owed him many favors.
All through the dilemma with his wife, he never accepted financial help from me. He wanted to do it all himself. I couldn't help the smile that tugged my lips.
James was a thickheaded man. Easy going but thickheaded. He’d been that way since college. He always wanted to bear his burdens alone. It was a commendable trait, really, but sometimes it became annoying.
Perhaps now, due to the difference in our wealth margin, he never wanted to be perceived as a burden by me or anyone else. Even in the face of dire circumstances, he was honorable till the end.
A part of me blamed myself when his wife died. I could have helped, but he didn't let me— he said I'd already invested in his business, and that was enough. Was it really?
Still, I thought I owed him a favor, but it became even harder to offer help when he moved to Minnesota. James was always there for me emotionally. During therapy, when Olivia, my ex-wife, started to become overbearing and when she died. He was heavily invested in Sophie’s life after her mother’s death.
He’d attended Olivia’s funeral— wanted to stay until I was alright. He was ready to put in his all. A selfless man.
But I declined. I had to remind him he had his life to live and his daughter too to watch out for.
Communication was the only thing I could offer when it started to go south for him. Though I attended his wife’s funeral, I couldn't give him my all— I had a lot of responsibilities.
But during my down moments, he wanted to offer his all.
Four years later, the time to repay came. I believed I owed him a favor because he always did his best for me, but I was limited in what I could do for him.
All I wanted to do was something that’d suffice for those years where I could do nothing but watch him drown in his sorrow.
Plus, he rarely asked for help. I just needed to show up for him this once.
I knew they needed money. If l hadn't sensed that from our conversation over time, the peeling walls and below-average apartment was a sign that they needed money.
Accepting Evie was the least I could do to help. Not fucking his daughter was the least I could do to return his good favor. Avoiding possible interactions that could lead us astray was the least I could do for myself.
Granted, Evie was smart. She knew how to stand her ground. She seemed feisty, bold, confident, but that was just it. She was like any other twenty-one-year-olds out there.
A temporary replacement until the nanny returned— until I found a better therapist. Once that happened, I’d get her the same job elsewhere.
Most importantly, she was my best friend’s daughter.
A wave of anger slammed through me as I pulled my MacBook closer to go through my mail.
Aside from the ordeals in Minnesota, we had a forthcoming presentation for an Air Force military base.
This project was something we— my team and I— had been working on for months. It was something that could potentially lead the way for us in another field of robotics—military robotics.
