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She wrapped her arms around him, and he held her, comforting himself as much as he was attempting to comfort her. Her spine was stiff and she remained rod-straight in his arms before leaning back to look at him.
“We were actively trying for a baby for a while. We went to doctor’s appointments, I took injections, we had sex on my supposed fertile days. We kept that up for several months. Then, when it didn’t work, we decided it wasn’t meant to be. He decided it wasn’t meant to be. I was devastated.
“Once that was over, he didn’t touch me. He didn’t look at me. We hadn’t had much of a physical relationship before we started trying for a baby, so it wasn’t much of an adjustment.”
Bryce shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t want to hear about her and Brandon’s fertility journey. And he didn’t want to hear her apologies. Whatever happened in their marriage had nothing to do with him.
“You don’t need to apologize for being married and behaving like a married person before I met you. Before you knew I existed.”
“I wasn’t finished,” she croaked. “A week or so before he died—sorry, those days all run together—he cooked breakfast. I figured it was because he felt bad about being a jerk the night before.”
He had already decided he didn’t like where she was going with her story. It was obvious that she needed to get whatever it was off her chest, so he didn’t interrupt her. As much as every word felt like a knife through his chest, he let her finish.
“I tried to stop him. I swear I did.” Her words came out in choked sobs, furthering the lump in his throat. “I told him I didn’t want to. I told him I was tired—”
She didn’t need to finish. He knew where she was going. White hot rage coursed through him, nearly taking his breath away. He’d only been able to get over the things that happened when his mother was alive because he didn’t have to face it. With Brandon gone from his life, he was able to bury his feelings and emotions and move forward. But this rage wasn’t going away anytime soon. The rage he worked so hard to stuff down had come back the moment Samantha described what Brandon had done to her.
Forcing his anger to the side, he cupped her cheek in his hand and redirected her attention to him. “You don’t owe me any explanations, and you sure as hell don’t owe me an apology. You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s okay. Just tell me what you want to do, and I will respect whatever it is. Do you want to keep the baby?”
He regretted asking the question as soon as her gasp echoed through the room. “I wasn’t saying it with any judgment. I know how much you want kids, but I also know how difficult it would be to raise your rapist’s baby. So just tell me what you want to do and I’m here.”
She looked up at him with eyes filled with regret. She’d stopped crying, and her breathing had nearly returned to normal. After shuddering out a breath, she spoke. “Okay. I can do that. I’ll tell you everything once I figure it out. Right now, I just want to go to sleep. Can we go to sleep?”
Chapter 23
Samantha woke up in Bryce’s arms. She hadn’t planned on staying with him when she showed up at his job site unannounced. There was no way she could explain things over the phone, and she couldn’t continue to avoid him. The only thing she could think to do was show up and talk to him in person. She’d only made it through the first half of rehearsal. Most of her parts were in the morning, so she didn’t feel too bad about cutting out at lunch. The secret was burning a hole through her, so she needed to go and talk to him.
“Morning,” he said as he clamped his arms around her, his early morning voice sending a shiver through her.
“Morning,” she mumbled. “What time is it?”
“It’s a few minutes after four. Are you feeling better? I’m glad you stayed.”
“Not really,” she admitted. “What are we going to do? This is a disaster, and it’s all my fault.”
“Sweetheart,” he said before pausing until she looked at him. “I’ve seen plenty of disasters. This is not a disaster. We’ll get through it together.”
He couldn’t resist pulling her close to him in the bed. “Thank you,” she said softly. “I’m glad I stayed. I just don’t know what to do.”
“We can get a paternity test. There’s a blood test that can confirm or rule out paternity before the baby is born if that will make this easier on you,” he suggested.
“Me?” she asked. “What about you?”
“What about me? The only thing I’m worried about is you. You deserve to finally be happy, and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure that happens.”
“And if the baby is Brandon’s?”
He stiffened beneath her touch. “Then we’ll figure it out together.”
“We’ll figure it out? We? You still want to be a part of this if it turns out to be Brandon’s kid? I couldn’t ask you to do that.” She couldn’t believe he was acting like it was no big deal.
Brandon turned so they were facing each other. “Yes. We. I want you and everything that comes with you. You want a family, and I will be part of that family if you let me. So, yes. We’ll figure it out.”
She searched his eyes and saw nothing but honesty. His words didn’t change her situation, but the support made it seem more bearable. Considering she started sleeping with her brother-in-law before the dirt had settled on Brandon’s grave, she was in the situation she deserved.
“Are you going to rehearsal, or staying here?”
Samantha stretched her body, testing out how she felt. Opening night was a week away so she really needed to get to rehearsal. Even though everything was still up in the air, she was feeling better since talking to Bryce. Instead of running, like she assumed he would, he promised to be there for her no matter what. Having someone like that in her life was a new feeling. A feeling she could get used to.
