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53
ARA
Luca doesn’t have a kind bone in his body. At least that’s what I had always thought. I’m not deluded to think he’s anyone’s kind of hero. However, in my own abyss he was the only one who heard or saw me. I’m exhausted and I can’t express to him in words what he’d just stirred within me. Not yet, not when I don’t entirely know myself but what I can convey is how he makes me feel through touch. To remind myself I’m here. I’m not a phantom drifting. Luca somehow had become something else that chains me to this world.
I shift and place my hand on his jaw and brush my thumb against his stubble.
Bang. The noise and memory echo of what I’d done tonight. This year I felt like I was finally going mad. Now it is gone. Ivan’s life was as fleeting as my mother’s.
“Do you think my mother would be disappointed in me?” I ask him, surprised. This is what I wanted all these years but it doesn’t make me feel as accomplished or sated. Maybe one day it would.
“I think she would want you to be happy, Ara. In the way of mounting the hottest eligible bachelor in New York.”
I choke on a small obnoxious laugh. Of course Luca can make even this about him. Was that so bad? He wasn’t a good man. But perhaps he was perfectly matched for me.
He saw my ugliness and still fell for it.
Didn’t he?
“Do you love me, Luca?” I ask. It feels strange to say it out loud. I would’ve never imagined in a million years I’d be asking this of him. Nor nervous about his answer. Deep down, I know. In the same way I know how I feel about him.
He grabs my hand from his jaw and kisses the edge of my knuckles. “I wouldn’t be asking to share the rest of my days with you, Ara, if I didn’t. I don’t know exactly how to love, but I’ll do my best for you.”
I consider this beautiful, violent man. Above all, he had protected me on multiple occasions and although he drives me insane, he might be the closest thing I find to sanity. He might be the only person who sees and understand me.
I lean in and kiss him, slowly and passionately, letting everything I feel for him flood through. We might’ve used each other in the past. We might still do it in the future, but the truth was we’d gravitate back together no matter what.
“I think I love you too, Luca.”
“Think?” he demands as he flips me onto my back.
I chuckle as he nuzzles into my neck. This brute of a man brought me back to life, feeding the part of my soul that I hadn’t realized craved attention. A heated thrum stirs in my core as I lift my hands submissively above my head. “Why don’t you tie me up with that belt and make me certain?”
His blue gaze rages like a wild storm and within seconds clothes are flying. Desperate to validate ourselves to one another. He considers his belt. “I don’t know if I should use it to gag you or tie you to the bed.”
I’m laying naked in front of him. Ready to be used in whatever way he needs me. I was ready for my punishment. I’m a killer now. Part of me wants to forget but another part of me wants to embrace the sin I’d committed. I always resisted embracing this side of Luca but the truth was we both had it in us. I just wasn’t yet willing to acknowledge it in myself.
Luca was power. A force to be reckoned with. A god in his own right.
He binds my wrists together with his belt. “I’m coming to learn how multi-purpose a belt can be,” I say as my body and tits jolt under the harsh tug as he restrains me.
“We’ll just have to make sure we install the right set up in your apartment with proper restraints so you can discover more than just a belt, sweetheart.”
“In my apartment?” I squeak as he nestles between my thighs.
“Of course. You still owe me a key.”
A finger slips into my pussy and I hiss at the intrusion. Luca brings me back to the room, my attention to him as he watches my reaction from each and every pump. With his other hand he lazily fists his cock. I realize he’s taking his sweet time. Cautiously and slow and most likely because of how fragile I appear in front of him. But that’s not what I want right now. I want to be broken into oblivion all over again. In a different way. One where we come back together in the aftermath.
“Luca, I want you to fuck me like you always have.”
A wicked smile stretches across his face and it’s all types of sin as he leans over and presses against my bound wrists.
“Are you ready for me, sweetheart?” he asks as he nudges the edge of his cock against my entrance.
Always.
Before I can answer he slams into me to the hilt releasing any kind of reservations he was holding onto.
