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“I’m almost twice your size,” Torus said bluntly. “If you want me to try fitting myself inside you, I will—but I don’t think it’s going to work. I don’t want to hurt you and my shaft?—”
“Oh!” Molly felt her cheeks getting hot as she finally got his meaning. Damn, that wine had scrambled her brains—she needed to be quicker on the uptake! “I don’t know why you’d have to, er, fit yourself inside me,” she said at last.
“Because Bonding Fruit has an aphrodisiac effect on females,” he explained patiently. “Once it takes effect, you’re going to need to come but even more than that you’re going to have a deep desire to be filled.”
“I am?” Molly tried to remember what Lana had told her about the effects of Bonding Fruit. Mostly she talked about how without it, she would never have been able to accommodate both her Kindred husbands. “Why, they’d split me in two if I didn’t have it!” she had told Molly more than once.
“You are going to need to be filled,” Torus asserted, bringing her back to the question at hand. “Bonding Fruit is also supposed to help you stretch, but I don’t think it will be enough to overcome our size difference.”
“Well…what can I do, then?” Molly asked. “Honestly, I still feel fine. I’m not, er, having any needs or desires,” she added.
“It often takes some time to take effect,” he told her. “So we’ll watch you carefully. But I think maybe we’d better get ready—just as a precaution.”
“Get ready how, though?” Molly asked, frowning.
“You need to have something that can fill you,” he said patiently. “Something like that purple phallus you were using in the video.”
Molly felt a flush of embarrassment roll over her whole body like a wave.
“I don’t do that anymore,” she said stiffly. “I mean, not since…not since the first time my ex sent that video out.”
He raised his eyebrows and she could feel his disbelief through the TET link.
“You mean you don’t masturbate anymore? You don’t give yourself pleasure?”
“No.” Molly shook her head. “Never.”
“But…I don’t understand.” He shook his head, looking confused. “Do you think it’s a sin, the way you were taught when you were younger?”
“Not exactly…” Molly shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “I just feel like it’s not for me anymore. I mean, look what it got me when I did it,” she pointed out. “Look at all the humiliation and pain it brought to my life, because I gave in to myself like that.”
“It wasn’t the pleasure you felt that brought you pain, sweetheart,” he said gently. “It was that bastard of an ex-Mate who sent the video out to hurt you.”
Molly just shook her head. How could she explain to him that what had happened to her felt like a punishment—like the humiliation she’d had to endure again and again was a kind of chastisement or penalty for the way she’d “abused her body.” Maybe she did still believe it was a sin…
“Is that what they taught you to call it? ‘Abusing your body?’” Torus shook his head in disbelief.
Molly flushed again.
“It’s what I was taught when I was a kid. I decided I didn’t believe it when I got together with Zach—I told myself it was my body and I could do what I wanted with it. So I did. Sometimes it felt like…like it was the only way I could reclaim myself after Zach…after he…” She shook her head, looking down at her hands.
“You used it as a coping measure—a way to heal yourself. And he took that away from you.” Torus sounded angry, but she could tell his anger wasn’t directed at her. “Gods, I wish I’d killed him,” he said, his voice dropping to a low growl.
“Torus, please—I really think I’m okay.” Molly looked up at him. “I don’t feel a thing—honestly. I think maybe I didn’t drink enough to get the effects. Maybe you have to take the whole bottle for it to work or something.”
“Well…” He looked at her uncertainly.
“What I need now is just to eat something,” Molly said. “I haven’t had a thing all day but that little slice of wedding cake—I was too nervous to eat before the ceremony. I shouldn’t have drunk that wine on an empty stomach.”
He looked instantly worried about her.
“Then we need to get you fed. Do you want to go out somewhere? Or would you rather stay here?”
“Let’s stay here,” Molly decided. “There are lots of meal cubes in the cabinet and they have a rehydrator. Let’s have supper and then take a walk on the beach. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“It sounds perfect.” One corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile. “But will you promise me you’ll let me know if you start having problems?” he asked.
“I will, but I won’t have any problems—I’ll be fine,” Molly said firmly.
