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“Cherry and I are getting married,” he says in a tone that suggests he thinks it will perk me up.
“You’re not worried that your lifestyle will endanger her?”
He shrugs. “She knows what she’s marrying into. I love her. She loves me. The rest will work itself out.”
“A little naïve, don’t you think?”
He frowns. “Maybe. But I feel like a million bucks. How about you, Boss? How are you feeling?”
“Like shit, Rob. Like shit.” I sip from my glass, now bourbon and water. “Congratulations. Really. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you.”
“Right. Well, all is well in Bratvaland today.”
“Excellent news. Keep it up.” I raise my glass to toast him.
He shakes his head in disgust, and I’m bothered that his respect for me is falling, though not enough to stop the downward spiral.
That night, Kate enters my dreams again. She’s so beautiful. So kind. So round with my child. Even in my sleep, I weep at her glory. But then a man appears. He’s in a boring suit. Has a boring haircut. He’s my version of an accountant. She beams when she sees him. He holds her, resting his hand on her belly as he kisses her.
“You’re mine,” he says. “Both you and the baby are mine.”
“No!” She’s mine, dammit. She and the baby are mine.
“Then you should go get her, you fucking moron,” Niko says, watching the scene by my side.
“I can’t.”
“Then she’s not yours. She’s not yours. Not yours…” Niko’s words continue like a chant until I bolt up in bed.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” I can’t live like this. I can walk into danger and risk my life. I can thumb my nose at the law. But am I brave enough to reach out and grab love? Grab life? Grab Kate?
I go back to sleep, hoping it will rid me of the urge to go to her now. Nothing has changed. I can’t give in to this relentless misery.
So it’s a surprise when I find myself sitting outside her house the next morning. I’ve showered. I’ve had plain black coffee. I still feel like shit, but hopefully, I don’t look like shit.
A dark sedan drives past and a few minutes later, it returns, heading in my direction. I imagine it’s someone who works for Lucy. Just in case, I grab my gun and watch and wait.
A moment later, a text sounds on my phone.
Are you sitting outside Kate’s house?
The car door opens and a man I recognize, Bennie, I think his name is, nonchalantly walks toward me with an expression that says he has no trouble killing me.
Tell Bennie to back off. I text back.
He reaches my window as he glances at his phone. I put my window down.
“Rostova.”
I nod. “Bennie.”
“Just checking.”
I think it’s occurred to him that I’m big shit in the world and he doesn’t want to fuck with me.
“Glad you are.”
He salutes me and heads back to his car, then drives away, although I know he’s not far.
