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“I grew up in the Bratva, just like your friends Elena and Lucy grew up in the Mafia. My father used to gush about how I’d one day take over. He was like a king and I was his prince. But then he died when I was young. My uncle took over, and yet some still thought I’d one day take my place.” I look down, not sure how to explain my choices in life. I wasn’t sure of them myself. “Perhaps it was my father’s death, but I decided to leave. I understood organizations and violence. I suppose that’s why I ended up in the FBI.”
“You were dirty. Just like my father.”
I shrug. “Niko has been my friend since we were kids. I looked out for him. Are you a criminal for looking out for Elena?”
“It’s not the same. You broke the law.”
I could argue that she broke a law by helping Elena. Maybe not a U.S. law, but Mafia law for sure. But she wouldn’t give any credence to the laws or rules of organized crime. “Maybe, but my reason was the same.”
“And what’s your reason for killing and kidnapping and whatever you do now?”
I sigh and then look at her. “Since the moment I met you, everything I do is for you.”
Her face contorts into disgust. “Don’t. Don’t put the taint of your world on me.”
I look away. “I’m sorry for all this, Kate. All of it. But the situation remains. Babichev found you, which puts you in danger.”
Her hand covers her stomach. “He knows about the baby.”
“All the more reason for you to stay hidden. For a little while. Until I can kill him.”
“You said that before.”
“Yes, but then I tried to give you what you wanted. A new life. But he found you. We’ll stay here if you like, or I can take you to Niko and Elena’s compound. But you have to stay hidden until this is over.”
“And then what?”
“Then you’ll be safe and go back?—”
She shakes her head and sneers. “Why do you care what happens to me now? You never did before?—”
I move quickly, putting my face in hers. “You can hate me all you want, Kate. You can wish I’d never fucked you or implanted that baby in you. But never, ever question my motives. You are the only reason I’m doing any of this. You.”
Her eyes are wide. Her mouth rounds into an O. I want to kiss her so fucking badly, my heart aches with it.
Instead, I rise from the bed. “Is there anything else you need… for you or the baby?”
“No. Not right now.”
I give a curt nod. “I’ll be in the other room if you need me.” I leave her, shutting her door behind me, willing it to shut off the emotions in my heart. It’s impossible for me to keep emotional distance from Kate, but I’m doing all I can not to feel anything for the baby. What would be the point? She and the kid are better off without me.
But I’m failing miserably. What sort of sick bastard am I to abandon—that was the word Kate used—her and the child? The thought makes me want to go back and claim her and the child. But it would be against her will since she wants a regular life, one without the crime and violence I live in. So, it’s noble of me to provide whatever they need financially while exiting the picture so Kate can have the life she wants, right?
I really want a drink, but since there’s no booze in the cabin, I head to the bathroom and shower as if it will wash away the pain inside me. When I finish, I go to the other bedroom but then decide I’d rather sleep in the living room where I have a better view of all areas in the house that could be breached.
As I lie on the couch, Robbie texts me telling me men are positioned around the cabin and the little town nearby. He also informs me that there’s no sighting of Dimitri in New Jersey around Kate’s home. He’s been elusive. Maybe I should have considered that he wouldn’t leave Kate alone once under Niko and Lucy’s protection. I have to admit, he’s got balls the size of Everest to go up against them. But what pisses me off the most is that the fucker got too close to Kate and it’s my fault. I can’t fail her or the baby. I need to protect her and kill him. She won’t like it, but from now until Dimitri is dust, she’s going to be locked away.
Exhaustion tugs me into a fitful sleep. Anger and pain swirl in a toxic mixture even in my dreams. My arms are tied, and Dimitri shows up with a smug smile. Kate is there, at his mercy, and I’m helpless to save her. The ineptitude tears me apart as I watch him put a gun to her head and pull the trigger.
“No!” I lever up. My heart is beating a million miles a minute. Sweat is pouring off me.
“Liam?”
My attention goes to Kate standing in the doorway of her room, fear on her face.
“Kate.” The need to hold her, to verify she’s real, is so powerful it takes all my strength not to go to her. But she doesn’t want me. She hates me. “Everything is okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
She stares at me for a moment, then with a nod, she shuts her bedroom door.
