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I suckled her skin, knowing I'd leave marks, but I didn't care. She was mine. All fucking mine now.
"Rowan."
"Baby." I kissed the flesh I had suckled, and went back to holding it inside my mouth.
"What did you mean about the I.U.D.?"
My breathing was still not normal, and I felt like a fucking caveman right now. "I want to make a baby with you."
I expected her to stiffen or push me away, but I heard a giggle.
I lifted my head to look at her. "What's so funny?"
She laughed, her body shaking.
"Isha?"
"Do you have like…a breeding kink?"
A smile tugged on my lips and, all of a sudden, we were both laughing so hard that I pulled out of her and fell onto my back. I grabbed her to lie against me, enjoying her.
"Is it like a rancher thing? You breed cattle and hence…." She couldn't stop laughing.
And neither could I. The bed shook.
When we were finally calmed, I stroked her back. "I want to have a baby with you."
She kissed my shoulder.
"Let's get through our first night together this time around, and then talk about major commitments like babies?"
"I just want you to know where I'm at. I'm all in, Isha. I'm holding nothing back."
She raised her head to look at me. "I'm not ready."
"I know."
"But you're going to keep pushing?"
"No, baby, I'm not pushing; I'm pulling you closer, bringing you back to me."
Her eyes were moist with emotion, and it tugged at me. She wasn't sad, she was touched. "I need time."
"Take all the time you need, Isha. I'm not going anywhere. Except to sleep. Haven't had a proper night for days."
I fell asleep holding her. It was the best night's sleep I ever had in my adult life.
Chapter 29
Isha
We fell into a rhythm. He came over on Saturdays.
He always put Flora to sleep. And then he went back to Montana late Sunday. It was a brutal schedule for him, and I didn't think it was sustainable.
Finally, in late October, he told me he'd have to miss a Sunday. I was waiting for him to do that. I mean, he ran one of the biggest ranches in North America, so it wasn't like he wasn't busy. He was taking out a lot of time to come here to see Flora and me—he always said that he was coming to see us and not just me.
"We're moving the herd, so we'll be gone throughout the week and weekend," he told me over the phone.
