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"This is your neighbor?" I saw Uncle Mick with a large black man; Flora was maybe two in Mick's arms.
"And his husband, Arturo."
"Yeah, I think he could fuck me up good," I agreed, straightening.
"Arturo is a sweetheart. Kindest man I know," Isha claimed.
She crossed her arms and gave me a wan smile. "Thank you for coming, Rowan. I was glad to see you."
I don't want to leave. I want more time with you.
"It was a wonderful surprise to see you today and to meet your daughter. You look well, Isha. I'm happy to see that."
"I have a wonderful child, a great job, close friends, and even family…it's everything that I ever wanted. I feel blessed."
Except a man? "Boyfriend?"
She shook her head, laughing. "Does it look like I have time for a boyfriend? By the time Flora goes to bed, I'm just about ready to collapse on a weekday. On weekends, I fall asleep anywhere I sit for over five minutes, which doesn't happen often with an active child."
She was so open in the way she talked, just like before. She was still full of life. I was almost jealous that she'd gotten over me while I was still carrying her around in my heart like a ghost, and my love like a shroud.
I stepped close to her, and she didn't move, a challenge in her eyes.
"Do you still have panic attacks?"
"Sometimes."
"Can you tell me how I triggered you that night?"
"Why do you want to know?" She didn't ask in anger, just mild curiosity.
"Please."
"What if I said, I can't remember, it was so long ago?"
"I won't believe you."
She laughed. "You have a very high opinion of yourself, Rowan Ledger. But the truth is that I don't remember."
This time, she walked around me and opened her front door. "Thank you so much for stopping by. I wish you the best with everything."
My time was up.
I walked to the door and cupped her cheek with my palm. "You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Thank you, Rowan."
She pulled away from my touch and, as soon as I stepped across her threshold, shut the door behind me.
Chapter 18
Rowan
Icame back to the apartment where the family was staying, feeling heavy and emotionally shattered.
Ace was watching television with Carla asleep on the couch.
"You want me to carry her to bed?" I asked.
