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"In the perfect world, it would be nice if you said you loved me, too." She looked sad then but still smiling, still herself.
My heart slammed against my ribs, racing. I could say those words to her. I had never said them to anyone before, but I could say them to Isha. I violently shook that thought loose. I didn't feel love for her. What I felt was pity for her sheer stupidity.
"Sorry, darlin'. I don't fucking feel that way about you."
She picked up her phone and sat up. "I have to get ready."
It surprised me that she didn't protest, didn't try to change my mind.
"What if I said those words? What then?" I challenged her.
"Then…," she shrugged, "maybe we'd find a way to be together."
"Together? You live in London."
"People can move."
"Ah, and you'd what? Live in the ranch house? Or maybe you want me to buy you a place where you'd live and wait for me to come to you. Is that it? You want to be a fucking mistress? A one-man whore?"
She winced. "No, that's not it."
"Then what?"
"I don't know."
"Then why would you say you love me?" I shouted.
Tears filled her eyes, and I hated myself in that instant. She'd given me what she thought was a gift, but it was poison, and it was invading me, tearing me apart.
"Why the fuck would you say that to me?" I yelled.
"Because I love you." Her voice was soft, barely audible.
Fucking hell!
Chapter 14
Isha
"You're mistaken if you think you're mistress material," the man I'd fallen in love with said as I sat naked on the bed where I'd lost my virginity while he put his clothes back on.
"I never said I was going to be your mistress, Rowan," I whispered, feeling shame course through me.
"Then what?"
I love you and I want a chance for us to…what?
"Then nothing," I murmured.
"Good." He opened his wallet and tossed money on the bedspread. "That should be enough to get you back to London."
"I don't want your money," I hissed, staring at the hundred-dollar bills. I wasn't a whore. I had sex with Rowan Ledger because I'd fallen in love with him. It was my first time—and I'd done what I'd always wanted to do, be with someone who had my heart. I should've added a caveat to that; it should've been someone whose heart I also had.
"The reason this happened," he waved a hand between us, ”was because I wanted to keep you away from Ace."
"But that changed, didn't it?" I didn't want to beg, but my heart was breaking.
"No."
