Page 26 of Dad Bod Demon


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The light down here is red and shadowed, not pale and bright like in The Above. I sit at the table, wondering what time it is. It's hard to tell down here where time moves differently.

“You seem disturbed.”

I jump as Lucifer appears across the table. He's impeccably dressed in an expertly tailored, canary-yellow, three-piece suit, his black skin gleaming in the muted light.

He smirks. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No,” I reply to the lord and master of The Below without bowing or any other sign of deference.

Lucifer's eyes narrow. "So, you returned early because Mammon couldn't bear the risk of being replaced?"

I study the King of Hell closely—master manipulator and a good liar. "You know that's not why we returned early. Rapha has reappeared, but I don't suppose you'd know anything about that?"

"I knew Rapha was back, but I had nothing to do with what occurred in The Above," Lucifer says, sounding bored. "I have no interest in that place."

It's clear from his reaction and what Mammon told me that Lucifer has no love for The Above. I guess it feels like one step closer to all that he lost when he was cast out of Heaven.

"But I didn't come here to talk about Rapha. What matters is your husband isn’t doing his job. He needs to get his act together if he wants to keep his position and all its perks.”

A plan forms in my mind. I've learned a lot since my father showed me I meant nothing to him. But I have to be strong and not show fear. “If Mammon is falling short of your expectations, perhaps you should consider the possibility that he’s not cut out for this role anymore,” I suggest casually.

Lucifer’s eyes narrow even further, a dangerous glint in their fiery depths. “As I thought. You're telling me you want me to remove him from his position,” he sneers, his gaze hard and hateful.

“I’m in no position to tell you anything, Lucifer. As you rightly say, you are the King of Hell, with all the power and influence that comes with the title. I'm merely stating that perhaps it’s time for a change.” My voice drips with indifference, but underneath, my stomach roils, and my heart pounds because, yes, I do want Mammon to be released from his duties. I want him to have more time to enjoy the eternity of the life he’s been given without having to worry about the endless churn of reaping souls for Lucifer. If tricking the devil into doing that is what it takes, I'll be brave and take matters into my own hands. “Maybe Mammon has grown tired of the monotony and would benefit from exploring other endeavors.”

The fallen angel’s expression darkens as he processes my words. He gets off on anguish and heartache, and it's clear he came here expecting me to cower and plead on Mammon’s behalf after Rapha's attack. My lack of respect intrigues him. I see it in his expression as he turns away from me, gathering his thoughts.

“And you don’t care if he loses his powers? If he's never able to return to Hell?” Lucifer leans back in his chair with practiced nonchalance, watching me carefully, waiting to see a chink in my armor.

I smile. "Sounds like Heaven to me."

“Heaven,” Lucifer spits. “Don’t talk to me about Heaven. That place isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“I think that's bitterness talking. After all, you did try to depose God,” I point out. “But to answer your question, I don’t give a flying fart if Mammon is allowed back down here. I’m human, remember? This place isn’t a theme park for me. But wherever we are, my place is by my husband's side. Still, it would be nice if Mammon had the opportunity to decide for himself. It's the only way you'll know if he's here for you or because of you.” I shrug as if it doesn't matter one way or the other.

“Are you two whispering about me?” Mammon's voice interrupts us as he comes out of the house. He's pulled on shorts that rest low on his hips, drawing my eyes to his deliciously chunky physique like magnets.

Down, Penelope. This is an important moment. This is “Mission Manipulate The Devil."

“We are, my love. Lucifer came to remind us yet again that you aren’t meeting his expectations because you're too busy meeting mine,” I say, giving my husband a wicked grin.

Mammon sits beside me and captures my hand, his gaze on Lucifer. “And what do you propose I do about that?”

Lucifer looks a little confused at Mammon's lack of worry over his future. “Stop prioritizing your wife over your duties, or I'll find another to replace you and banish you from Hell."

Mammon nods slowly as if considering Lucifer’s threat. He's silent for a while before he speaks again. “And what about Rapha? You know he's back and baying for my blood."

Lucifer shrugs. "Not my problem if you leave my service. Rapha's a loose cannon, but his issue is with you."

I squeeze my husband's hand. "It's not Lucifer's fault if Rapha is more powerful than him, Mammon. Like you said, Rapha is an ancient vampire and a force to be reckoned with."

Mammon's mouth twitches with a tiny smile as he catches on immediately. He raises my hand to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. "You're right, little one. Even omnipotent beings like Lucifer have their nemesis."

Lucifer's eyes flash with fury. "I am The King of Hell. The only being who can challenge me is God Himself!"

Mammon raises a placating hand. "I meant no insult. I just know from experience what a formidable opponent Rapha can be. He's come for me unsuccessfully half a dozen times over the last thousand years since I denied his request, and I have to admit that his determination and resourcefulness have always impressed me. I'm merely concerned that, if left unchallenged, he may think he can take on Hell itself."

Lucifer laughs as if the idea is preposterous. "As if he could!"

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