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“How do you even know that?” I countered, feeling my frustration rise. “You barely know him.”
“Gina,” Naomi said, taking me by the shoulders to steady me. “Chill out.”
“I am chilled out,” I snapped back, clearly not as composed as I claimed.
That’s when I caught the mischievous glimmer in her eyes and the naughty smirk curving her lips.
“You’re not playing matchmaker here, are you?” I accused, half-joking yet half-serious.
“No!” She sang out her denial a bit too high-pitched to be convincing. “Gina, he’s sitting so far away from you. You don’t even have to look at him if you don’t want to.”
The truth was, Naomi was indeed playing matchmaker, but not for me. It was for Sadie McPherson, a legal assistant at Derek’s law firm. Sadie thought Randy was attractive and wanted to make her interest known, just like every other single woman in town seemed to. Did that bother me? Looking back now, I admit that it probably did just a teensy-weensy bit.
The seating arrangement was just as Naomi had promised. Everyone was positioned around the family farm-style table, with Sadie sitting directly across from Randy and me at the far end, opposite our friend Tanya. I had managed not to glance at Randy too much, but it was hard not to steal looks to see if Sadie was making any headway with him. At that time, Randy had been at Calypso for only a month. Our interactions often involved a lot of snappy exchanges, and while there was undeniable sexual tension simmering beneath the surface, we were far from acting on it.
Soon, the first course was served, and the table talk began. The opening question was a challenging one: “What on your bucket list have you already fulfilled?”
I was relieved they hadn’t started with me, though I knew my turn would inevitably arrive. Internally, I scrambled to think of an answer. If Randy hadn’t been there, I doubt I would have cared much about sharing the truth. Others at the table boasted about experiences like skydiving and the thrill of free-falling through the sky, or horseback riding, which they had avoided due to a fear of horses. Dinner guests erupted in laughter when someone revealed they recently ticked a hot dog eating contest off the list. Amidst the laughter, I grappled with whether to be honest.
“Okay, Gina, you’re next,” Naomi announced, clapping her hands to signal it was my turn to share.
I wished I could have said “pass.” From the first day, Randy’s presence made me feel as though I was constantly playing catch-up, living a life less full than his. As the question came to me, my mind raced, desperately searching for an answer. Unable to find a truthful response, I finally said, “Riding in a hot air balloon.”
“Humph.” Randy’s voice was loud enough for the entire table to turn their heads in curiosity.
That single sound was enough to set me off. “What do you mean by, ‘humph’?” I snapped, frustration evident in my tone.
“Nothing,” he replied casually.
My eyes burned as I glared at him, unconvinced. “Oh, it’s definitely something.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I just didn’t expect you to say that, that’s all.”
“What did you expect me to say?” I pressed.
“Why does what I think matter so much to you?” he shot back, the question hanging in the air.
I remember frowning deeply at that moment as I took stock of myself. I was leaning across a friend of Derek’s who was seated next to me—someone Derek had later mentioned he’d intended to set me up with, though I hadn’t even noticed him. To this day, I can’t recall what he looked like.
Feeling embarrassed by my irrational fervor and realizing that Randy had posed a valid question, I straightened up. I noticed the surprised looks from everyone at the table and retreated into myself. I was done talking. Naomi, who never liked to put me on the spot in public, would later ask, “When did you take a hot air balloon ride?” I had to admit, “Never,” and explain that I couldn’t think of anything else to say in the moment.
The guy next to me mentioned he had hiked at a place called Whitney Portal, which impressed many at the table. As the conversation moved on, I couldn’t stop kicking myself for not just sharing my truth. Lying so frivolously wasn’t like me at all.
“My adventure in Marrakech,” Randy announced when it was his turn.
I burst out with cynical laughter and blurted, “Okay, right?”
The other guests and hosts looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Couldn’t they see what was happening here, I wondered.
Leaning forward so he could better see me, Randy asked, “Is that funny to you?”
“You’re just so pompous,” I blurted out, unable to hold back.
Randy huffed, clearly agitated. I had effectively lured him into matching my energy. “You know what? I get what your problem with me is. Why don’t you show up to work on time, and maybe I won’t be so pompous?”
We engaged in what felt like the stare-off of the century. If I’m being honest, I felt more inclined to gouge his eyes out than to kiss him.
Then, suddenly, he jumped, startled by the vibration of his cell phone. Pulling it from his pocket, he frowned at the screen. Whatever he saw seemed to disturb him. He quickly apologized to Naomi and Derek and excused himself, saying he had to take the call.
