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I remain quiet, my mind turning over what my cousin said. I want every stupid detail about Alana and Silas, but then if I ask for all of those details, I’ll look like I care. And I don’t.
Not really.
Okay, I care a little bit but only because I’m curious. I think anyone in my position would feel that way, right?
By the time we find a table to sit, I feel like I’m going to burst. I can’t take it any longer.
“What exactly did Bronwyn tell you about Alana and Silas?” I tap the edge of my salad bowl with my fork, my stomach twisted up in knots over what she might reveal.
So stupid, but I can’t help myself.
“That they got together at the beginning of summer, right after school ended. Silas supposedly approached her, but I don’t know if I believe that. According to Alana, they’ve been inseparable ever since.” Iris stabs at the lettuce, gathering up as much as she can on her fork before she shoves it into her mouth.
“Since the end of junior year then,” I say, my voice soft, my brain calculating how many months that is. It’s simple math—three months, give or take.
“They’re serious. That’s what Alana told Bronwyn,” Iris says after she swallows. “She could tell that Alana was all gaga and in love. Like, barf, right?”
“Right.” My voice is distant, my lunch forgotten as I spot Silas and Alana together in line to scan their meal cards for their lunches.
If Alana brings him over to our table, I don’t know what I’ll do. It was weird enough what he said to me during English. Warning me off Rhett Bennett, which was odd. What does he care who I’m talking to?
It shouldn’t matter to him. I shouldn’t matter to him.
They part ways once he drops a kiss on her cheek and Alana’s striding toward us, an overly bright smile on her face as she sets her tray onto the table and pulls a chair out, plopping into it. “Hey, guys!”
Her enthusiastic voice grates and I put on my best smile, though it feels more like I’m baring my teeth. It’s not even close to genuine either. “Hi, Alana.”
Iris says nothing and I have to kick her under the table to get her to respond. “Oh.” She sniffs. “Hi.”
A sigh leaves Alana and she slumps in her chair. “I know you’re mad at me, Iris.”
“You do? Then why didn’t you text me like two months ago, hmmm?”
Here we go, Iris starting a fight when I asked her not to. I push my salad bowl away, knowing I’m going to be starving later, but I can’t eat. Not right now.
“I don’t know. I guess I just got—caught up in Silas. If you were in a relationship, you’d understand.” Alana shrugs, and I can tell she feels superior to us because she has a boyfriend. That’s so lame. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t very nice of me to ignore you.”
The surprise on Iris’s face is obvious. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting an apology so quickly. “You’re right. It wasn’t.”
“I know. And like I just said, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Alana’s expression is contrite as her gaze shifts to mine. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you either, Willow.”
“It’s okay.” I shrug, wincing when I feel Iris’s loafer kick into my ankle.
I glance over at Iris to see her glaring at me, most likely for saying it’s okay so quickly. I’m too forgiving, according to her, and I’m sure she’s right. But I can’t help myself.
“It’s not just that.” Alana presses her lips together for a second before she says, “I should’ve warned you I was dating Silas.”
The sentence just sits in between the three of us like a bomb about to detonate. I don’t say anything and neither does Iris. Neither does Alana. We’re silent for so long I can tell Iris can’t take it any longer.
“It’s serious between the two of you, then?” Her tone is downright hostile. All on my behalf, I might add.
“Um, yeah.” Her cheeks turn pink. “I think I’m in love with him.”
Ouch. Like a stab to my heart. Not that I know what being in love with someone feels like, but the crush I was nursing for Silas throughout our sophomore year was pretty intense.
“And he’s in love with you?” Now Iris sounds like she’s full of disbelief.
“Well … yeah.” Alana glances around before she leans over the table, her voice lowering. “We’ve already done it. Like, a lot.”
