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Dr. Bob caught his eye and gestured with his head toward May. Sterling dropped his letter to the floor and moved to the couch. His Mom and Aunt Bex sat back, leaving May looking small on the sofa between them. Without giving it a second thought, Sterling picked her up and pulled her to his chest. May buried her head in his shoulder, sobbing. Sterling was crying too, his relief mixed in with his regret.
“I’ve missed you, May-May,” he said.
“You too, big brother.” Hearing her call him “big brother” sent an even stronger wave of emotion through him. After everything that happened, he really hadn’t even hoped for a restoration between them. It seemed too large. He hadn’t come here for that, but to see her get the help she needed. This felt like an undeserved blessing.
If you really are there, thank you, he prayed silently. I feel like I don’t deserve to have my prayers answered or even listened to, but thank you.
After being resistant to the idea of God for years, that tiny, silent prayer left Sterling feeling an odd sense of peace that didn’t seem to fit the difficult situation. He hadn’t expected that. Later, maybe he could process that. Again, the thought of Reese with a stab of guilt so intense that he had to hold his breath for a moment.
The next thirty minutes were a fast flurry of activity as May packed and the final arrangements were made. Sterling sat on the floor in her room while she stuffed things into a suitcase.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” May said. “I’m sorry you had to come. That I’m … like this.”
“May, I’m glad to be here. I’m just sorry for not being here sooner and for any part I played in all of this.”
May shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I mean, sure, the bullying and stuff started because of you, but I’m not the only person who has dealt with mean kids. It passed. I’ve been angry about a lot of things—I still am. I’m really scared about this. I don’t know that it will fix me. Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
He got up and squeezed her hand. “You are amazing. It’s not about fixing you, but dealing with the addiction. It’s a sickness. Think of it as going to get well. And I’ll be here every step.”
Sterling flinched, thinking of Reese and how he had accused her of wanting to “fix” him through her prayers.
“Did you mean what you said?” May asked, sitting down on the bed next to her suitcase. “About quitting the tour?”
Sterling sat next to her. “Yes. I just need to make a few calls. I won’t leave you.”
May’s eyes filled again. “Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me. But you don’t need to do that. I think I needed to know that you would, but I don’t want you to lose out on all that.”
“May, you’re more important. You always were and I know I didn’t show that. I want to show it now.”
She took his hand now. “No. You’ve shown me enough. Go on the tour. Just … will you come see me when you can? When it’s over or when you have shows nearby? I’d like to come see you. If I’m out, I mean.”
“I would love that,” Sterling said.
His mom and Aunt Bex were going to drive her to the facility and she said she didn’t want Sterling to be there. “I just think it might be weird,” she said. “Like, if I’m checking in and the women orderlies start trying to get you to sign their body parts or something.”
Sterling laughed. “Okay, I really missed you, May.”
Aunt Bex and his mother hugged him and then they all started for the door. Sterling felt a lightness that he definitely didn’t have when he arrived. A small part of him was waiting for the bottom to drop out of things, because this felt like too much goodness. Way more than he deserved and more than he had even thought to pray for.
Maybe all wasn’t lost. Just as he opened the door, he checked his phone, ignoring a host of missed calls and messages to open a single text Reese had sent hours ago. It said, simply, “I’m praying.”
Unlike earlier that morning, when he had responded with anger, the words filled him with warmth. Sterling almost couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel and tell her that. To apologize and hope that she would understand and to tell her about May.
But when they opened the front door, it was to a swarm of paparazzi with cameras flashing and questions shouting.
“Tell us about your new girlfriend!”
“How many girlfriends do you have, Sterling?”
“Any more babies out there that we don’t know about?”
“Sterling!”
“What do you have to say to the rumors that you cheated on Morgan?”
As the four of them pushed through the crowd of photographers, Sterling fought the urge to shove them. “Just get to the car,” he said to his mother and May. “I’ll handle them. Just go.”
Their car drove off, May waving out the window to Sterling as he fought his way to his own car, trying to figure out how to actually drive without running over one of the photographers. Clearly something had happened this morning. He didn’t want to stop now to look at his phone because of the paparazzi, but as he drove to the hotel, he had a sinking feeling. He should have known that the good feelings were simply too good to be true.
