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Chapter One
If one more girl asked Sterling James to sign one of her body parts, he was leaving this meet-and-greet event. Period. Contract or no contract.
The label kept saying he needed to get his image under control. This meant no bad press and more photo ops with fans. He needed to smile and be friendly, not moody and morose.
Another hour. He could be pleasant for another hour.
Sterling sighed and picked up his permanent marker before security ushered the next fan inside. She looked about twelve and shuffled up to the table, nervously tucking her blond hair behind her ears. She shoved a folded T-shirt across the table. Her hand shook the slightest bit, and Sterling pretended not to notice.
“Will you sign my shirt?”
Sterling smiled. An actual smile. “I’d love to. What’s your name?”
“Vanessa.”
“Okay, Vanessa. What do you want me to write? Any special messages?”
“Um, how about ‘To the Moon and Back.’ And, you know, your name.” Her cheeks flushed, and she looked down at her feet. She had braces and kept trying to smile without her teeth showing.
Her mother stood behind her, beaming. Sterling gave her a wink as he uncapped the permanent marker and began to write. It was harder than you might think to write on a T-shirt without the fabric bunching up. He’d had tons of practice, though, and knew just how to hold the fabric taut.
The message Vanessa asked for was a shortened version of his album title, Love You to the Moon and Back. Sterling wrote the whole thing out, knowing that it would mean more to see the “love you” part. She probably had been too shy to ask.
She reminded him of his sister May. Or, at least, how his sister had looked the last time he saw her. His chest tightened. It never got easier. His job basically required that he be around girls who looked just like May had at thirteen.
“Do you want to take a picture with me?” He smiled up at her, watching her face brighten.
Sterling usually didn’t have to ask. He usually didn’t want to. But Vanessa’s mom stood behind her, touching her back like Vanessa needed moral support. A blush still sat on her cheeks. She might not have gotten up the courage to ask.
Vanessa didn’t look at him, but nodded, biting her lip to cover her smile. Sterling came around the table, holding out his arm. He usually hated touching fans too. Casually, he draped his arm over Vanessa’s shoulder and leaned down as her mom held up an iPhone. They took a few shots, even some silly ones at Sterling’s request. He could feel the tension and shyness leaving Vanessa, replaced by a glowing happiness.
Before she could pull away, Sterling squeezed her into a side hug. “Great to meet you, Vanessa,” he said.
“Thanks,” she said. “I really love your music. Love You to the Moon and Back is my favorite album. Like, ever.”
“Thank you,” Sterling said. “It’s my favorite right now too. My newest is always my favorite, though. I’ve got one dropping next year, so that will probably be my favorite soon.”
Vanessa looked so pleased that he was actually talking to her. And the more he said, the more she looked at him. Her confidence blossomed under his gaze. She met his eyes as she leaned a little closer and whispered, “My mom loves it too. Even if she wouldn’t admit it. She knows all the words.”
She giggled then, and Sterling felt the familiar weight pressing on his chest. It was hard when simple words like “mom” or seeing a girl who looked like May triggered the pain and guilt. He wanted to enjoy this one moment with Vanessa, to savor the positive effect he could have on someone with just a few words and a couple of photos. But thoughts of Mom and May were dark clouds gathering into a storm in his head.
He hadn’t seen May in person in almost four years. He loved and hated when fans reminded him of his sister. Sometimes all it took was the right age and blonde hair. Other times it was that sweet shyness May had back then. With Vanessa, it was both.
Once, long ago, May had been a fan of his. He had no idea what kind of music she listened to now. But he could put money on the fact that it wouldn’t be anything with his name on it.
Sterling made his way back to his seat, pulling a gray Dunlop guitar pick from his pocket and twirling it in his fingers. The motion calmed him and helped drag his thoughts out of places he didn’t want to go. He focused on the feel of the raised lettering on the .88mm pick. For playing, his favorite was the thinner .73, but he kept .88s in stock for just this. As he spun the pick, he pushed the thoughts of May right back where they belonged: in the section of his brain for things that needed to stay in the dark.
Vanessa walked away with a goofy grin on her face. Her mom turned around and mouthed, thank you. Sterling smiled and nodded. If only every fan could be like this.
But most of the people who came to these meet-and-greets were shrieking teenage girls who thought they were in love with him. Grown women were worse when they fell all over him. He understood teenagers screaming and crying and passing out. They were a giant ball of hormones and pheromones and could hardly be held responsible for super-fanning. But anyone over eighteen? Nope. Sterling gritted his teeth.
Of course, the next person through the door fell into the undesirable category. She bounded up to the table, radiating pure overzealous fangirl.
Not girl—woman. She looked closer to his age, he realized as she reached the table. Probably early twenties. She would have been pretty if she hadn’t looked like she was about to climb over the table into his lap. Long brown hair, gray-blue eyes, and olive skin with a wide smile.
Too bad. Any woman with the fangirl vibe was a hard pass. The friend who walked in with her seemed totally disinterested, tapping on her phone. She glanced at Sterling and shook her head a little, like she couldn’t believe her friend either. With a flip of her long, thin braids, she went back to her phone.
He tried to make it look like he was smiling, not baring his teeth. From the corner, Jeff coughed and gave Sterling a warning look, then went back to his phone. Half of Sterling’s problem was having a manager who didn’t understand Sterling. At all. After tonight, that wouldn’t be a problem anymore.
