Page 113 of Savage Love


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The things I wanted don’t matter any more.

I shake my head at the string of thoughts. They’ve been tormenting me for the past few days, and I can’t help the way I feel. In disbelief, confused.

I want to keep this baby. I’m never going to find my independence because everyone is going to want to look after me.

I’m ridiculous for being unhappy about that. I should be grateful.

I’m afraid that Carter is only saying he loves me because of the baby, not because of us. But our chemistry is untouchable. It’s everything. So how can I doubt it? Maybe because I’ve spent years pining for him and it’s only been a month and a couple weeks since we started seeing each other.

And I love him. I love him. Oh my God, do I love him and this baby too, and I can’t stand the thought of being heartbroken.

But he wouldn’t do that to me. I can trust him.

I sit on my bed in the guestroom with my laptop in front of me and consider apartment listings in Heatstroke. I have my job at the library, which is amazing, especially since I’ve got a reading with local kids from the middle school coming up, but I can’t afford a lot. I also don’t think I can live in my old apartment any more.

When I think about that place, I feel unsafe.

A knock taps on the door.

“Come in,” I call out.

Ganny mentioned breakfast, and she loves to treat me when I stay over. She’s giving with every single person who graces her home. I want to be like her when I grow up.

What is she going to say when she finds out?

The door opens and Leo enters the guestroom, followed by Jesse and Cash.

I straighten and press my palms onto my knees, pulling a face at my brothers. “What on earth are you guys doing in here?”

“What’s the matter? We can’t pay you a visit?” Leo asks. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“Try years,” Cash grouses.

“Oh, relax, Grumpy Dwarf,” Leo says. “You’ll get over it.”

“Dwarf?” Cash arches an eyebrow.

“You guys want to take this outside?” Jesse asks. “I thought we came here to talk to Hannah, not to argue.”

“Yeah,” Cash says.

Leo narrows his eyes at Cash, but turns to me. “Han, what’s going on?”

My brother is so usually full of himself, that when he gets sincere like this, it always takes me by surprise. It’s a reminder that he hides his feelings behind that bravado.

“What do you mean?” I ask, switching my gaze from Cash to Leo to Jesse and back again.

My brothers have always been my saviors. Cash is an overprotective asshole, but when the chips were down, Leo and Jesse were there for me too. They were always ready to kick ass if I needed them. And Lily would join in too.

“We know,” Cash says.

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

“About you doing the no pants dance with Savage,” Jesse says.

Blood rushes to my cheeks. I open my mouth but no sound comes out.

“Making whoopee,” Leo says, when I don’t reply.

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