AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“But what about your team? Everybody here counts on you.”
“I know. But I think it's time. I was trying to prove something when I started the company. And then I fell on my face several times. I need a fresh start. New ideas. Something.”
I was packing up my old apartment and feeling more than a little nostalgic. I’d really grown up here. Really become a woman who knew her own mind.
But do you really?
I finally found someone to sublet it. It made sense at this point. I wasn't staying with Atticus, I wasn't even going to stay in the second apartment at the Faulkner. At this point I felt like I just needed a completely fresh start. A chance to try and be someone new.
The old me didn't feel quite right.
I’d been thinking about a new city. I'd always wanted to live in LA. I had a comfortable nest egg with what was remaining in my trust fund. And I’d get a job eventually. I had a few ideas for businesses too, but I needed to take it easy on myself for a bit.
It was doable, even though my body rebelled against the idea of leaving New York. My family, my sister, Lance. I found it telling that in the week and a half I'd been back, Clarissa had called several times, but my father couldn't be bothered.
Which honestly, I'd expected.
Lance sat forward as I wrapped up some of my old photo frames.
“So, what? Everything just goes in storage?”
“Something like that.” I’d miss the color and chaos and the backdrop of the city teaming with life. I’d woken up hungover here. Had crazy Halloween parties here. Thought I’d fallen for someone more times than I’d cared to count here. And then my life had spun out and I barely spent any time here at all in the last several months.
“This isn't like you. Old Gwen would've had a plan,” Lance muttered.
He had a point. But old Gwen had made so many mistakes. “Well, maybe New Gwen needs to see where the spirit takes her.”
He watched me carefully. “So we should probably talk about the elephant in the room, right?”
I shifted on my feet, my toes digging into the plush rug of my living room. Oh God. I didn't want to hurt him. But I could tell he was going to do the thing.
“Lance, before you say anything, I?—"
He planted his hands on my shoulders and stopped me from talking. “Gwen. Do you love him?”
I swallowed hard, my gaze on his as I nodded. “Yes.”
“It's always been him.”
Again, I nodded. From the beginning, it had been Atticus. I hadn't been able to see anyone else. In the same way that my work had consumed me for years, Atticus consumed me body and soul now. And it would hurt to be away from him, but I had to choose me. I had to see what I could do.
I wished it could have been Lance. But now that I’d had a taste of all consuming love. Anything less was unfair. “In another lifetime, somewhere in an alternate universe, you and I are very happy.”
He chuckled at that. “We've got a couple of kids with curly Afros and golden brown skin. They've got your smile, and they sing like me.”
I whacked his arm for that. “Hey, my singing voice isn't that bad.”
“You sound like a dying giraffe when you sing.”
I crossed my arms and pouted. “Fine. Maybe my voice needs work. But to me I sound like Beyoncé.”
He laughed. “Maybe if Beyoncé had one of those throat nodules everyone's always talking about.”
I shoved his chest and he barely moved. “Whatever.”
“But in this reality, we are the best of friends, and I want the best for you. So I am going to say this, and I want you to listen to me.”
“I know. Run away from him hard and fast and never look back?”
