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“I don’t want you to go,” I murmur. Hearing the nursery door close, I draw Marley close to me again. “Should we finish what we started?” I whisper into her hair.
“No.” There’s a fire in her eyes that’s electric and determined. “Let’s finish what we started at my place on Sunday morning. Goodnight, Ned.”
THIRTY-SIX
AVA
I wake up and glance at the time on my phone. It’s seven o’clock. I feel great. I had a pain-free good night’s sleep and I didn’t have any nightmares. Having my physical health back has made a positive impact on my mental health. At last, I can be a real mother to my beautiful baby daughter. Take care of her and spend quality time with her. I want so badly to be with her and get to know her. And for her to get to know me.
The bed empty, Ned must be out for a run or working out in his gym, which is surprising since it’s Saturday and he usually sleeps late.
I don’t hear any wails, so either Isa is still sleeping or Marley is feeding her when I wish it were me. But things are going to change today. I’m sure of it.
With ease, I hoist myself to sitting and climb out of bed. The new me is going to take a shower, blow-dry my hair, get dressed, and try to look attractive. I want to be a role model for my daughter.
The stall of our rainfall shower could fit five people and is easy to get in and out of though Rosita assisted me when I was at the worst stages of my pregnancy. The forceful, steamy spray feels heavenly. I soap up my body, gently running the bar of soap over my swollen tender breasts and the six-inch incision, which is not nearly as inflamed as it was when I came home from the hospital. My belly is going down, and I read somewhere that nursing will expedite losing the rest of my baby weight. Fingers crossed I’ll be back to my normal size six and exercise routine by the end of July. And driving!
After shampooing and conditioning my hair, I turn off the shower, step out of the stall, and dry myself off. I decide to forego blow-drying my shoulder-length hair and gather it up in a high ponytail before adding a little makeup—some lip gloss and a touch of mascara. I like what I see in the mirror. I look rested, my skin aglow, and my green eyes vibrant. And for the first time in ages, my cheekbones are shining. I smile at my reflection. Shrugging on my robe, I amble to my dresser and find the cute yoga outfit I bought for the honeymoon Ned and I never took. The teal-blue drawstring pants and matching V-neck long-sleeve top fit me! I even look good in them. I’m also wearing a nursing bra for the first time.
Ned is in the kitchen drinking coffee at the island. He’s in his running clothes and there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He seems brooding.
“Good morning, honey,” I say cheerfully and he looks my way.
“What’s up?” His voice is curt. He’s in a foul mood.
My heart sinks with disappointment. Doesn’t he notice how well rested and put together I look?
Not needing a cup of coffee (nor wanting to drink anything caffeinated now that I’m nursing), I join Ned at the island and take a seat across from him.
“Sweetheart, I want to discuss Marley.”
At her name, my husband flinches and almost spills his coffee. “What about her?”
“I don’t think she needs to work for us full-time. Or live in. I’m feeling much better and think I can take care of Isa during the day. I think Marley?—”
“Did I just hear my name?” It’s our nanny, dressed in her white uniform and holding my baby in the lavender carrier. Isa’s tiny, pink feet are kicking, so she must be awake.
“Yes, I was telling Ned that we no longer need you to work here full-time. Maybe just at night so that we can continue to get some sleep, but definitely not during the day. I am perfectly capable of taking care of Isa from dawn to dusk.”
Moving toward us, Marley glares at me. “Ava, you truly think you’re capable of taking care of your baby?”
I am, but the intensity of her stare keeps the words lodged in my throat.
My eyes stay on her as she reaches into a pocket and retrieves her phone. “Maybe you should take a look at this photo.” She sets the phone down in front of me and my eyes go wide as saucers.
My hand flies to my mouth. “Oh my God.”
Marley smirks. “Ned, you should take a look-see.” Ned reaches for the phone, his nonplussed reaction nothing like mine.
Their eyes connect. “Ned, this is how I found your baby last night after Ava put her back in her crib. Face down on her stomach. With that big stuffed animal practically on top of her. Do you know how dangerous that is? She could have died.”
Tears burn the back of my eyes. My voice is frantic. “She’s lying! I laid Isa down flat on her back and I have no idea where that bear came from! Honestly, I’m telling you the truth, Ned! I’d never do that!”
Nurse Marley turns to my husband. “Ned, tell her I told you that she did something similar to this once before. That she slept in your bed with Isa on her tummy under the thick comforter.”
“That’s a lie too!”
Our nanny won’t relent. “Ava could have smothered your baby. And Isa was so close to the edge of the bed she could have fallen off!”
