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I buried my face in my hands again. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to believe anymore.
There was one certainty: the change in him had something to do with her. She is responsible for this. It couldn’t be a coincidence he had turned into an insurgent, and the two of them ended up on the spaceship together. I remembered meeting her—who could forget a four-armed, four-eyed alien? She’d seemed so nice, but as soon as Nadir appeared, she’d disappeared. Coincidence? No.
The water drew my gaze again. I wanted a drink so bad. If I’m going to survive, I can’t act like a Scaredy Kat. I’m going to have to take some risks. Not stupid risks but calculated risks. He could have already killed me. I’m going to take the chance the water is okay.
I poured a glass and took a sip. It tasted okay. I took two more good-sized swallows and set the glass on the table. I’d wait and see if there were any adverse effects before I drank any more.
I flung the cover off my legs and stood up. I checked the door. Still sealed tight. Heading for the cleansing unit, I halted. Did I cover myself? I remembered sitting on the bed, propping up a pillow, and leaning against the wall, preparing to wait it out. But I did not remember covering myself with a blanket. The bed, although a little messy, was still made up.
Lomax must have covered me when he brought the food. Food, water, a blanket. That had to mean he still had some feelings for me, didn’t it? Some part of him remembered our bond?
Deciding I could trust him not to poison me, I finished off the glass of water, and then I realized I’d acted under the assumption he had brought the refreshments. It could have been the woman, although I suspected she’d prefer to kill me than feed me. She’d already tried to blast me. She only pretended to be nice and friendly when she met me. She was probably out to get me then.
Another epiphany struck me. Up until now, the only other time I’d ever doubted his innocence had been when I’d spoken to her. Jessie, Holly, Millie, and Giselle’s reservations and concerns hadn’t shaken my faith an iota, but a few minutes in the woman’s company, and my belief in his innocence had wavered.
Could she have been brainwashing me?
I remembered how I’d assumed she was the deprogrammer. What if instead of reversing the mind control, she indoctrinated Lomax further? I shivered with an icy chill, feeling in my bones that my hunch was correct.
But how could that have occurred? The LOP had to have vetted her. Unapproved strangers couldn’t just sashay into the palace.
Unless the league was infiltrated. It had happened before. Joule, Giselle’s bond-mate, had worked with an LOP double agent who had been an alien species trafficker.
I rubbed my eyelids. I could go crazy trying to figure it all out.
Maybe I’m still trying to excuse his bad behavior. Perhaps I am naïve.
I felt disheartened, demoralized, and grungy. Operating under the notion, look better, feel better, I entered the cleansing station. After relieving myself, I disrobed and shoved my smelly, soiled clothing into the garment chute and stepped into the ionizing cleaner. When I emerged, sanitized from head to toe, the unit presented me with my laundered clothes. I found some toiletries, detangled my hair, and cleaned my teeth.
Being clean and dressed made me feel slightly less defeated, considerably more human, and a bit more ready to face the next round of shit. Given how quickly the situation could change, I couldn’t take anything for granted. Every moment needed to be treated like it could be my last.
Maybe now I’ll try a chort. This meal could be my last, too. I’d eaten a lot at the banquet—before Lomax had flipped out—so I didn’t feel hungry, but I wasn’t queasy anymore.
I left the cleansing unit.
“Lomax!” I gasped.
He’d changed out of the clothes he’d worn to the banquet. Instead of the dark-green tunic embroidered with gold thread and golden-tan leggings, he wore a military-style charcoal jumpsuit. The hood had been pulled back. Scarier than the blaster holstered to his hip was his expressionless face. His amber eyes were washed out, devoid of their usual warmth.
My knees shook with fear, the urge to flee beating inside. But a spurt of anger kindled my courage. What did that alien woman do to him? She stole the very essence of who he is. Left him a hollowed-out shell.
I have to help him. I’m his only hope. It’s me or nobody. If there is good remaining inside that shell, I have to find it.
He still wasn’t speaking.
I wet my lips, my mouth parched again. I motioned my head at the bedside table. “Y-you brought me food.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It wasn’t time to kill you yet.”
Oh god, oh god, oh god. My knees almost gave out. Courage fled, and tears sprang to my eyes. I shook my head. “No…”
He pulled the blaster from the holster.
If I hadn’t used the facility, I would have wet my pants.
