I pulled my phone from my pocket, propping it up on the table in between the two of us. I hit play, and watched as Sawyer smiled through the whole thing, his jaw dropping when it got to the part where he was featured.
“They make me look like I actually know what I’m doing,” he said as the teaser ended. “I am shocked.”
“That’s because you do know what you’re doing,” I told him. “And you look hot as hell doing it.”
“You are helping me to see it for the first time in my life,” Sawyer said, leaning back a little. “Not that I’m hot, or whatever. I have no idea how other people see me. But just a little bit, I feel like maybe I know what I’m doing. Sometimes.”
“You can own it,” I said. “You’re good at what you do.”
He let his eyes linger on mine. “And does that include being your boyfriend?”
My heart skipped a beat. “Now it’s my turn to be shocked.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Don’t act like you don’t already know how much I want to call you that. I want to be your boyfriend.”
“Just a few days ago I was surprised that you wanted to date me at all,” I said. “I still feel like I should be pinching myself.”
“We’ve known each other for so long. If you were some rando I met on Tinder, sure, maybe I wouldn’t ask you so soon. But you’re different.”
“I feel like I should be scared to say yes,” I told him, brushing a lock of his hair to one side. “And I’m not.”
He smiled at me, his eyes as clear as the sky. “You’re never afraid of anything.”
I shook my head slowly. “I’m starting to realize that’s not true,” I said. “I’ve just been really, really good at hiding how afraid I really am. For years and years. And I didn’t know I was doing it.”
He furrowed his brow slightly, and I could tell he knew exactly what I meant. “You’ve been through so much.”
“We both have,” I said. “And I’m done hiding any of my feelings anymore. I’m not afraid to be your boyfriend, Sawyer. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything, I think.”
My voice had become a little shaky. Exactly the kind of thing that used to embarrass me. The kind of feelings that would make me feel vulnerable before, and the kind of feelings I always hid away from the world. Right now, it only made me feel stronger.
Sawyer knew the real me, through and through. And he still wanted to be with me.
If that wasn’t worth trying for, I didn’t know what was.
Sawyer got up and crossed over to my side of the table, sitting down right on my lap. I hummed deeply, wrapping my arms around him.
“Does this hurt?” I asked. “You’re still a little bruised up.”
“Little bit,” he murmured, his face close to mine now. “But I don’t think I care.”
He leaned in and kissed me, over and over again, until I could feel him smiling against my lips. “My boyfriend,” he said, trying out the words. “My boyfriend.”
“Does that feel weird to say?”
“Yes. In the best way possible. Weird good.”
“Let’s go sit on the couch so I don’t feel like I’m going to make every bruise and bone in your body feel worse?” I said, carefully peppering tiny kisses along his neck.
“Yes,” he said. “There was this video I wanted to show you. Come here.”
He hopped up and flitted over to the living room, looking up a video. Misty curled up at the foot of the couch and I sat down, watching as a video called “How to Make a Rain Garden” came on the screen. It was a how-to video, all about creating a gorgeous, floral garden at the bottom of a small embankment in a yard.
Sawyer sat down next to me, and I gave him a look. “Is this a prank? Are you making fun of me for how many videos I’ve made you watch?”
His eyes went wide. “What? No,” he protested. “I was looking around for advice on what to do with the far side of the landscaping at Jade Brewery. I think this was such a good idea—the rainwater goes off into a natural garden, very low maintenance and beautiful whether it’s in bloom or not.”
I blinked at him. “Goose, I showed you this video a couple of years ago.”
One corner of his mouth came up in a half-smile. “You’re kidding me.”
“I am not.”
“I really thought you’d like this video, and this idea in general.”
“Clearly, you know me well, then,” I said.
He burst out laughing, leaning against me on the couch. “I’m sorry,” he groaned. “You know my memory is bad.”
“In fact,” I said, “I’m pretty sure when I tried to show you this video, you got distracted and started asking me about what you’d done wrong on a date you went on that week.”