Gia, right. I'd forgotten her name.
"Here," I tell him, tapping the screen. "Write this information down. I found you a charming female. She likes a'ani."
He looks up at me, noodles hanging from his mouth. He quickly slurps them in and wipes his lips. "Who's this?"
"Some human woman I met when I was in Port earlier."
He gives me an odd look. "So...she's interested in you? Why are you giving this to me?"
"Because I'm not interested." I glance around the mess hall. "Have you seen Ruthie tonight? Is she feeling better?"
"I dunno." He shoves another mouthful of noodles into his face with his sticks. "You want me to ask?"
I sit down at the table, relieved. He'll go talk to her for me? I don't want her to think I'm hovering over her if all she has is a headache. "That would be great."
He nods and sets his utensils and bowl down. He doesn't get up, though. Instead, he tilts his head back and shouts. "RUTHIE! HEY, RUTHIE!"
I stare at him in horror. Keffing hells, why did I even bother?
Footsteps thump down the hall and then Ruthie appears in the doorway, her tunic rumpled and her hair flattened on top. Her eyes are red and swollen and she looks miserable. "What is it?"
"You okay?" Erzah asks casually. "You look like hell."
"Gee, thanks." She leans against the doorjamb. "I'm fine."
I jump to my feet, eager to help out. "Let me get you something to eat. You want noodles? Night tea?"
"Really, I'm okay." Ruthie comes to sit at our table just as I get up. "Are we playing sticks tonight?"
"Do you want to?" Erzah asks, discreetly glancing at me.
I thump back down again.
"Why wouldn't I?" Ruthie leans over the table and flicks a discarded noodle off of the surface. "We play sticks most nights. Why would tonight be different?"
"I dunno." He shoots me a more obvious look and I kick him under the table. Why is he being so keffing weird? I don't want him to make Ruthie feel like there's a problem. Like she's a problem. That couldn't be further from the truth. When I shoot him another hard look, Erzah clears his throat. "I, uh, guess I'll go round up the others and see who wants to play."
"All right," Ruthie says mildly, tracing a finger on the tabletop. She looks up at me from under her lashes. "Kaz, are you in?"
I'm filled with hot yearning when she looks at me like that. Like we're sharing something secret between the two of us. A thrill ripples up my spine when she gives me the tiniest smile, and I feel as if I would destroy entire planets just to make her happy. My chest puffs up and I nod. "You know I am. I like playing against you."
"Because you hold delusions that you can win," she teases, her mouth curving into a full-blown smile that makes my heart stutter.
"I don't mind if you clean my credits out. Whatever I have is yours, too."
The look on her face becomes hesitant again, and the excited pounding of my heart immediately slows. Ugh, why did I say that? Stupid, stupid Kazex. I'm coming on too strong.
"I just mean that you're a good player," I correct, desperately trying to salvage the situation. "I don't mind losing to you because you're smart and you don't cheat like Salvotor does."
She taps her finger on the table again, her nails short and square. "I'm not sure if he cheats or if he just forgets all the rules when he gets excited."
"He cheats," I insist steadfastly. Her eyes are so red that they look painful, dark rings under them. "Are...you all right? You said you weren't feeling well earlier."
Her expression grows distant. "Just had some thinking to do is all."
"Wish I could help with that. We all know I'm not much of a thinker, though."
To my surprise, Ruthie looks upset at my response. "Don't talk about yourself like that."
It makes me feel warm to hear her defend me, but it's not necessary. "I know my strengths, Ruthie. We all have our roles. Mine is best when I'm the muscle and someone else does the thinking."
She frowns and reaches her hand toward me, then hesitates and pulls away. Inwardly, I groan. She doesn't realize just how badly I wanted that small touch.
Then, she knocks on the table and gets to her feet. "Hope you're ready to lose your paycheck in sticks."
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
RUTHIE
I'm such a chicken.
Kazex was watching me with such an intense gaze that it was making me flustered. But he wasn't saying anything. I need to hear words before I commit myself. I need reassurance that I'm not going to destroy our friendship. What if he looks at me that intensely because he thinks of me as the family dog? I'd shoot adoring looks my way, too.