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He shot me a look of apology for lying, and although I wasn’t exactly mad at him, I was concerned. Most people didn’t want to bump into their exes, sure, but Shay had made up a fake excuse instead of being upfront. It made me feel like there was something he wasn’t telling me, but I wasn’t confident enough to push him on it.
“Do you still want to go home, or …” He shook his head, his hand pressing to my lower back to indicate he didn’t want to leave. I was still full of questions, but without the air pods, we couldn’t talk easily. I headed inside and picked up a basket, grabbing a few essentials and covertly studying Shay all the while. He seemed to be in a contemplative mood, his expression drawn as he accompanied me around the supermarket.
The whole incident outside made me wonder if he still had unresolved feelings for Emer, if he really was over her as he claimed. He said his feelings changed completely after she cheated, but I knew firsthand love didn’t always work that way. Sometimes people could break your trust over and over, but your heart forgave them even when your brain knew you shouldn’t.
“Do you miss her?” I asked gently as we passed through the dairy aisle. The question was born of insecurity, I knew. There was a moment outside while Shay had been easily conversing with Emer where I wondered if it would ever be that easy for us. I was only just starting to tackle my literacy struggles, and I had no clue how long it might take to eventually learn sign language.
Shay frowned and shook his head, and even though he didn’t hesitate to answer, I still felt uneasy. What if I was being too hasty getting close to him, and it was all going to backfire?
What if I gave my heart to Shay, and he decided to get back together with Emer? He might’ve thought he was over her, but if the hopeful look in her eyes was anything to go by, she wasn’t fully over him.
These were the worries that filled my head for the rest of the evening. Shay insisted on carrying my groceries home, which I appreciated, even though my mood was withdrawn. We went back to my place, and I cooked us some spicy chicken thighs with rice. The atmosphere had shifted, though. I was concerned and starting to worry a lot, especially because he didn’t bring up Emer for the rest of the evening. He didn’t try to reassure me they truly were over for good, which was what I really needed to hear.
When he turned to kiss me as he was leaving, his lips met mine, careful and soft. He studied me intensely, and I wondered if he’d read my misgivings. Maybe I was overthinking the whole thing because he probably had no idea how much I was internally freaking out.
It was only about an hour after Shay left when someone buzzed on my doorbell. I frowned, wondering who it might be. No one ever really called to see me. Maybe Siobhan had locked herself out and needed me to open the front door. I went to the window and peered out, my eyebrows raising all the way up into my forehead when I saw Nigel standing outside talking to Bob and Siobhan.
What the hell?
I threw on my coat and some shoes, then stepped outside, full of questions. The chilly November air nipped at my cheeks.
“Maggie, look who decided to pay us another visit,” Siobhan declared wryly when I emerged.
I glanced at Nigel my brow furrowed. “What are you doing here?”
He ran a hand over his short hair and shot me what appeared to be a humble expression. “I came to apologise for my behaviour that night a few weeks ago. I was disruptive, aggressive and rude, and I can’t tell you how much I regret what I did.” He looked to Bob, then to Siobhan, and finally back to me. “Drink turns me into another person. I swear I’m not normally like that. I hope you can all forgive me.”
“Well,” Siobhan sniffed. “As apologies go, I suppose that’s a decent enough effort.”
“Yes,” Bob agreed. “Very big of you to come back and say sorry, lad. The drink has turned many a fine man into a demon over the years. Maybe this’ll be a lesson to avoid it going forward.”
Nigel nodded, and I wondered if he was actually considering giving up alcohol or if he just wanted to keep Bob happy. Neither of my neighbours had a clue Nigel was Shay’s best friend. In fact, they hadn’t even met Shay yet, and I hadn’t told them about him. I had a feeling Nigel was only here so he could mend his bridges with Shay, but I decided not to be too hard on him. It was decent of him to come and apologise in person.
