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His fingers on my chin moved to cup my cheek, and my pulse pounded even faster. His gaze continued to hold mine captive, and I found myself suddenly rambling, “Not that your looks are the only reason I like you. I’ve always … I’ve been aware of you on the bus for a long time. I thought about you a lot, even before you helped me that Friday with the drunk guy.”
Shay tilted his head, his attention divided between my eyes and my lips. Was he going to kiss me again? A shadow of frustration entered his gaze as he stepped away and pulled out his phone. Relief flooded me, and I took a moment to just breathe. I rinsed out the oven dish and set it aside, then pulled out the sink plug before removing the rubber gloves I had on. Shay handed me his phone.
What did you think about me?
I was still incredibly embarrassed we were even talking about it, but I soldiered on. “I suppose I wondered about you. As I said, you’re an interesting person. You have a presence. I wondered about what kind of life you led, where you worked, if you had a wife or a girlfriend. The possibilities are endless, really. A stranger can be anyone if you let your imagination run wild.”
Shay’s eyes were glued to me, his expression intense. He typed out another message and handed me his phone once more. I was so flustered by the moment of honesty it took me even longer than normal to read his text. I mouthed the words to myself.
I wondered those same things about you.
My skin heated as I placed his phone down and stepped back, leaning against the counter as I tried to untangle everything I was feeling. My eyes were on the floor as I endeavoured to calm down. I knew Shay was watching me, gauging my reaction. I lifted my eyes and found his full of need. “Can I ask you something?” He nodded, and I continued, “Were you trying to distract me from something when you kissed me earlier?”
His gaze darkened. My pulse pounded as I waited for his response.
In the next room, the television was loud, so I knew his dad couldn’t hear us. Shay’s eyes heated as he stepped close, took my hand in his, then led me from the room. I could hardly breathe as we ascended the stairs and he brought me back to his bedroom, his large palm warm against mine. He let go and went to retrieve the folder he’d put in a drawer earlier. Flicking through it, he pulled out a sheet of paper, then turned and handed it to me. It was a pencil sketch, the one I’d caught half a glimpse of before, and my breathing hitched as I studied it.
How had he captured my likeness so well? For someone who went out of her way to avoid looking in the mirror, I was surprised by how I couldn’t stop staring at the drawing. It was me through Shay’s eyes, and it was mesmerising. I traced my fingers over the sweeps and lines of my face, the delicate strands of my hair that swept across my forehead. Emotion caught in my throat because he saw me. He saw me when, to most of the world, I was invisible.
Up until that point, I thought I liked things that way, but now that I was experiencing the sensation of being seen, I realised all that I’d been missing out on.
Unlike the picture that hung in a frame downstairs, the one in my hands had initials at the bottom, but not just initials. There was also a date. Shay had drawn the picture months ago, long before we’d properly met.
“You drew this in the summer?” I asked, my voice more air than sound.
Shay moved closer, taking the picture from my hand and setting it on his desk. I sucked in a breath as he stood before me, barely an inch between us. His hand came up to caress my cheek, his look saying so much more than words ever could. Maybe he had kissed me to distract me from seeing the picture, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t wanted to do it, too.
That he hadn’t been thinking about it.
For a second, fear caught in my throat. It was everything I’d spent most of my life avoiding, developing these kinds of intense feelings for another person. I knew it was an odd comparison to make, but my first love had been my own mother, and she’d broken my heart irrevocably.
Ever since then, I’d been doing everything in my power to protect myself from the same kind of emotional devastation. But that right there, the way Shay could make me feel from just a single look, had the power to ruin me. He terrified me, but in a way that froze me in place, captivated, instead of urging me to run away in fear.
