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At long last, she looked up and said, “You want to know if I’m coming to dinner?”
I bobbed my head, my expression apologetic. Her expression fell when she realised I knew she had trouble reading. I hated myself even more when shame clouded her face. She handed the phone back to me and wouldn’t meet my gaze. Again, her throat moved as she swallowed thickly.
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can,” she whispered, then stood and held her hand out for the approaching bus. “Goodbye, Shay,” she said, still not looking at me as she turned away and climbed on the bus.
I remained sitting there as it drove away.
6.
Maggie
I was crying in public again. Well, I wasn’t exactly crying, but I was certainly welling up. I really needed to get a hold of myself because it was starting to become a habit. That week, I’d been getting an earlier bus than usual in the mornings and a later bus home in the evening. All because I was too chicken to face Shay after how I’d acted the last time I’d seen him.
Thinking about him had my heart racing because he knew. I could see it in his eyes. He’d watched me struggle to read his message before dawning realisation coloured his face. I eventually managed to decipher the sentence, but it had taken almost a full minute when anyone else would’ve read it in seconds.
I’d had such a nice time at the café with him and his dad. But now I was just full of embarrassment and shame, and I wanted the world to swallow me whole. By the time I reached the stop nearest to Ken and Delia’s house, I’d managed to pull it together. Luckily, the bus hadn’t been too busy, so no one had witnessed my tearful pity party.
My siblings lived on a quiet, leafy suburban street. The house was old, inherited by Ken from his grandfather, so they didn’t have a mortgage or anything. That was how the couple were able to live solely on the allowance they received as foster parents. Not that I thought it was easy work caring for four kids. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do it and still hold down a full-time job.
The problem was Ken and Delia were about as hands off as it came. They weren’t mean or cruel; they were just a little bit lazy. Vivi did most of the work when it came to caring for her younger siblings. She was the reason they were bathed and fed and had clean clothes.
Opening the front gate, I made my way to the door and could already hear someone screaming before I pressed the bell. It took a few minutes before a harassed looking Delia appeared, her expression impatient. “Weren’t you here last week?” she said like my presence was an inconvenience. I was startled by her attitude because she was normally fine with me coming over.
“Hi, Delia. Yes, I was here last week, and I’m sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to drop a few things off for the kids.” I held up the bag of clothes and toys, and she snatched it from my hand impatiently.
“I’ll pass it along to them, but I’m sorry, Maggie, we can’t receive guests today.”
Just behind her, I could hear my little brother crying. “Is Eamonn all right?”
She shot me a look like my concern was uncalled for. “He stubbed his toe coming down the stairs. He’ll be fine. Now, I really don’t have time.”
Her attitude confused me. Normally, neither she nor Ken minded very much when I stopped by. To be honest, I thought they liked it because it meant the kids were occupied and not bothering them.
“Have I done something to upset you?” I asked because she seemed unreasonably hostile.
She glowered at me. “Listen, if you’re thinking about applying for custody, you should know it won’t be easy. Ken and I won’t give up the children without a fight.”
I was dumbfounded. “What are you talking about? I have no intention of applying for custody.”
Delia set the bag down and folded her arms, levelling me with a no-nonsense look. “I know you saw the bank statement when you were here last week.”
Just like that, it all made sense. I’d been in the living room with Vivi, talking to her about her upcoming school trip to Glendalough, when I noticed a bank statement had been left out on the coffee table. It showed how much Delia and Ken received each month for fostering the kids, and since there were four of them, it wasn’t a small sum of money. But it didn’t mean I was going to try and take the kids so I could have that money for myself. Firstly, I’d need a house or a large apartment, which I didn’t have, and second, I wasn’t certain I was equipped to parent them, not on my own at least.
