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“Wow,” he says. “I’m really sorry, Evie.”
I just shrug again. Dammit, I’m over this! Then why does it feel like tears are threatening to slip down my cheeks?
“So what ended up happening?” he asks softly. His gentle tone only eggs the tears on.
“Sorry,” I say, using my napkin to dab at the corner of my eye. “It’s still a little fresh. As for how it ended up, I don’t know yet. It’s only been a couple months.”
Nick leans back against the booth. He genuinely feels terrible for me; it’s not an act at all. One of his huge hands reaches across the table and covers mine. I jolt slightly at his touch, but then allow myself to be comforted by it. What’s the harm?
“So I know it seems naive and stupid,” I say, “and maybe I am, but I’m also not ready to give up on humanity just yet. Not trying to insult your worldview, but I felt the same way for the first month and it was the most horrible, depressing thing in the world. I don’t know how you stand to live like that.”
“Habit,” Nick says ruefully. Then he looks like he regrets speaking so off the cuff.
“Why do you always look guilty when you’re honest?” I ask.
He pauses.
“No,” I say. “Answer me honestly. Without over-examining things.”
I think for a moment that Nick is going to get angry at my demand, but he doesn’t. Suddenly he looks very tired. “In the past, that’s been a recipe for disaster,” he says.
“How so?” I ask.
Instead of answering Nick looks around the bar, chewing on his lip. His eyes are far away. Then he says, “Everything that I have. Everything that I am. It’s a result of careful planning, of iron will. I think things through. That’s how I escaped my family curse. I almost never do anything spontaneously because that’s where mistakes are made.”
“Like the Seafarer?” I guess.
He nods. “Hit the nail on the head. That was a rash decision and now I’m stuck with it. Though weirdly it’s not the worst choice I’ve made this year.”
“And what is?”
“Approaching you on that train,” he says.
“Ouch. I thought we weren’t negging.”
“I’m not.” Nick’s face is dead serious. “You’re a distraction, Evie. A beautiful distraction. But one I can’t afford, especially not now. I thought I’d be able to keep myself in line with you working for me, but I’m apparently not as strong as I thought I was.”
Wow. He’s really putting it out there. I sip my beer to give myself a moment to think and then say, “Everybody needs distraction now and then.”
“I’m not everyone,” he says. “I’m Nick Madison.”
“Well Nick Madison might need to relax a little bit,” I say with the slightest of smiles. “Because as far as I can see, he’s doing just fine. Maybe it’d be good in the long run to cut loose a little. Have some fun.”
Nick looks doubtful but I don’t push it. I can tell that just having drinks here with me is a big step for him. I don’t know whether to be pleased or nervous that I’ve gotten further than presumably any other girl has with Nick.
“I think the tone has been dour enough for the evening,” I say finally. “Let’s get out of here. You’re not getting any work done tonight, and I’m not wasting another minute thinking about Brent. We’re having fun.”
Nick raises an eyebrow. “And what’s your idea of a good time?” he asks.
I grin widely. “Let me do a quick Google search and then it’s my turn to lead the way.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
EVIE
It isn’t hard to find what I’m looking for in this neighborhood, and, when I stop before the brightly-lit front windows, I’m rewarded immensely for my effort by the look on Nick’s face.
He’s surprised, a little cautious, but then an expression that looks almost boyish comes across his normally hard features. “An arcade?” he asks.
