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I glance towards the lodge where Jake is, half-expecting Jake to come out and offer some form of support, a helping hand in navigating this delicate situation.
But the door remains closed, and I feel a rush of frustration. We're meant to be in this together, yet here I am, floundering, trying to reassure our children when I am filled with doubts.
How are we supposed to present a united front when I feel so utterly alone in this moment?
"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea telling them this early after all."
As Mia's words hit me like a cold splash of water, I can't help but feel torn between my excitement for our future and the reality of our current situation. It's not that I don't understand where she's coming from. I do. It's just that every fiber of my being is buzzing with the anticipation of becoming a father, of building our new life together in Pine Creek. The morning sickness has started and has been tough on Mia, and I've been doing everything I can to support her—fetching ginger tea at odd hours, ensuring she's comfortable in the guest room at the ranch whenever she needs time to herself, and taking on more responsibilities so she can rest.
But even in the midst of all this, the thought of our growing family fills me with a profound sense of purpose and joy.
"I just think you're letting the momentary mood of the children cloud your vision, Mia," I say, my voice tinged with a hint of frustration. "They're kids. They adapt. They'll come around when they see what a great little brother or sister they're going to have."
Mia's expression hardens, her eyes flashing with a mix of hurt and anger. "That's just it, Jake. You're already picturing the baby in our lives, but have you stopped to consider how Dylan and Emily truly feel? We sprung this on them. They need time...and empathy. Not dismissal."
I can see Jake's frustration building like storm clouds on the horizon, his usually calm demeanor giving way to a restless energy. "Jake," I try again, my voice steadier than I feel, "this isn't just about adapting. It's about their feelings, their worlds being turned upside down. They've only just gotten used to the idea of us, and now we’re introducing another major change."
He paces back and forth, the floorboards creaking under his boots, a physical manifestation of his growing agitation. "I get that, Mia. I really do. But life is about change. And yes, it's hard and messy, but that’s how we grow. I thought you would understand that," he retorts, each word sharper than the last.
The accusation stings, and I can feel the defensive walls rising. "Understanding it doesn't make it any less tough on them, Jake. Or on us," I counter, struggling to keep my voice calm. "We must approach this as a team, considering all perspectives, not just bulldozing through with what we think is best."
Jake stops pacing and looks at me, his expression a mix of exasperation and sorrow. "Isn't that what I'm trying to do? Build something for us? For our future?" His voice cracks slightly, betraying the emotion he's fought so hard to keep at bay.
The depth of his frustration and fear becomes painfully clear to me. It's not just about the kids adapting. It's about us navigating this new reality together, without losing sight of each other's needs and fears. "I know, Jake," I say softly, my heart aching for the both of us.
"I want that future too, more than anything. But not at the expense of our family feeling like they were left behind in the process. We need to find a way to bring them along with us, not drag them kicking and screaming."
There's a long, heavy silence between us as the weight of my words settles in the air. Jake's shoulders slump slightly, and he lets out a long breath, the fight draining out of him. My words sting, but he's finally understanding.
"You're right," he finally admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've been so caught up in the excitement that I've lost sight of how this is affecting everyone. Not just us."
The tension begins to ebb away, replaced by a fragile sense of understanding. We're in this together, facing the challenges as a united front, even when the path forward seems daunting and fraught with uncertainty.
In his rush to embrace the future, he had glossed over the immediate worries and adjustments our family needs to make. Dylan and Emily, with their silent glances and subdued moods, had communicated their unease, and there he was, steamrolling over their feelings in his own enthusiasm.
Taking a deep breath, he moves closer to me, his tone softening. "You're right. I got so caught up in how amazing this is for us that I forgot how big of a change this is for them, too. I'm sorry, Mia. We'll do this together, and we'll make sure Dylan and Emily feel just as much a part of this as we are."
My gaze softens, and he can see the exhaustion mixed with relief in my eyes. "We need to be a team in this, Jake. All of us. That includes understanding and addressing the children's feelings, not just our own."
He nods, the weight of my words settling in his heart. "You're right. We'll talk to them, explain things better, and make sure they know they're an essential part of this new chapter. I may have been overzealous, but I promise to be more considerate, more in tune with what our family needs."
It's a promise he intends to keep, not just for me or the baby, but for Dylan and Emily too. A promise that I not only believe but will make sure he upholds when it comes to the best interests of the children. I can't just selfishly think about Emily or the baby, but Dylan as well, if I'm going to be a mother figure in his life.
I have to view him as one of my own as well and with that, I will make sure that he's comfortable along every step of the way. Jake holds me close against him. Being in his arms has become my safe space.
I'm glad we were able to smooth this out because Jake can usually become undeterred and stubborn in arguments, sometimes wielding a 'whatever I say, goes' kind of mindset. Something that will also have to change if I am to be his partner in this now combined journey together in life.
"I'm sorry, Mia. I promise to do better..." he murmurs, while pressing soft kisses along my neck. I shiver in delight at the feeling, which encourages him to continue doing it before he's slightly pulling back to stare into my eyes. He leans in, capturing my awaiting lips with his to give him a passionate, slow kiss that begins to pick up as the seconds pass by.
The kiss deepens, our breaths intertwining as if trying to merge our very essences. His hands wander up my back, fingers tracing the spine with a tenderness that sends shivers cascading down my body.
I find my hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, as if distance were our enemy. The world around us fades to a mere backdrop, inconsequential to the intensity of our connection. Suddenly, the air seems charged with electricity, every touch amplified, every sensation magnified.
Our hearts beat in synchrony, a testament to the passion that has always simmered beneath the surface, now boiling over. Jake's kiss is a promise, a vow without words, speaking directly to my soul. In this moment, we are not just two people in love - we are a force of nature, as unstoppable as the tide.
"Is the door locked?" I finally ask him between heated kisses when his hand goes down to the strap of my sundress to play with it.
"Of course it is." He grins mischievously at me as my eyes raise in curiosity.
