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Jake was thankfully busy demonstrating the proper ways to lasso for a group of eager and excited teenagers who were too old to go on the nature walk.
Alone time away from Jake had been a blessing in disguise because it allowed me to think about things clearly, and not feel as if I was influenced by his excitement about the pregnancy or the urgency for us to be together.
Not that I wouldn't want us to be together... I just felt maybe we were moving way too fast. Especially now that an unplanned pregnancy has occurred.
"Can you hand me that spoon, Mia?" The kind but scratchy voice breaks me out of my thoughts as I turn from kneading the dough to Joanie Mitchell addressing me. I follow her eyes to the big wooden spoon resting on the counter next to me before handing it to her.
"Thank you, darling. Are you alright? You've seemed quiet and deep inside your head all morning."
For the time being, I thought it best to keep the pregnancy a secret from everyone. Especially the children. My romance with Jake, however? It's hard for that to be kept a secret, for it's evident to the adults from the sparks flying between us. Even though I tell everyone we're just friends, they seem to smirk with this tell-tale glint in their eyes.
"Yes, I'm okay... I guess I'm just a bit tired. All of this raining off and on has been throwing me off or something."
"You'll get used to it again. It's that darn global warming as Bill always says. How winter seems to flow into the middle of springtime and how the seasons are all mixed up like trail mix! It's so hard on us old people." Joanie chuckles while she resumes stirring the chocolate chip cookie mix.
"Oh Joanie, I keep telling you that you are not old."
"Honey, being in your forties during this era? It's considered the new normal of old. Heck, even reaching the thirties makes your body feel as if you're already in your sixties.
I sink into the conversation with Joanie as we work together to get most of the baking done before the volunteers come in to take over for us during the shift change.
"Babe, you have to relax," Jake tells me, as my horse follows his along one of the trails.
It's noon, and the children, including ours, are still on that field trip. Since I was relieved from my baking duties in the kitchen, Jake had decided to get me for some horseback riding along the trails.
I asked if it was safe due to my pregnancy, and he only joked that the baby is a size of a thimble right now.
Honestly, I felt more nervous about being alone with him than us riding the horses away from the ranch.
Riding alongside Jake, the rhythm of the horses' hooves set a comforting pace. The open trails and nature's scent were almost ethereal.
Jake always brought me into moments of serene beauty, reminding me why we fell hard for each other in the first place. His hand occasionally reached for mine, a gesture of reassurance, one that spoke volumes of the unspoken words between us.
With the news of our little one, a mix of joy and apprehension fills my heart. But Jake, sensing my inner turmoil, pulls his horse to a stop, turning to me with that reassuring grin. "Mia, love, we're in this together. You, me, and our little thimble-sized cowboy—or cowgirl." His chuckles, light and heartfelt, ease the knots of worry within me, filling me with hope for our future.
I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me, not just from his words but from the profound love in his eyes. "I know, Jake. It's just... everything feels so different now—like we're stepping into uncharted territories."
He nods, his expression turning pensive. "It is different, Mia. But think of it this way—we've faced challenges before, haven't we? This," - he gestured between us - "us, it's our greatest adventure yet. And I couldn't have asked for a better partner."
His words were a balm to my frayed nerves. Jake had always been the one to ground me, to remind me of the strength we share together. "You're right. I guess... I guess I'm just scared of the unknown. It's not just the unknown of becoming parents," I started, my voice a bit shaky as I tried to articulate my swirling thoughts.
"I'm still settling in here, you know? This town, these wide-open spaces—they're beautiful, but they're also what I'm getting used to again after being gone for years. And then there's Emily... She's been the center of my world, and I worry about how she'll adjust to sharing that space with a sibling. Well, two, since Dylan would be like her brother as well."
Jake listened intently, his eyes locked on mine, radiating warmth and understanding.
After a moment, he replied, "Mia, I get it. This town, it's a whole new world for Emily, and now you're stepping into another new chapter here. But, love, you've made this place home again. Not just for you but for Emily as well. You've brought life into every corner and do the same with our growing family."
He continues to give me that reassuring smile from which I tend to draw strength.
"Emily - she's going to be an amazing big sister. Yes, it'll be an adjustment, but think about the bond she'll continue to build with Dylan. The baby will not replace her spot in our hearts. It will make it bigger."
He reached over, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his touch reassuring. "You're an incredible mom to Emily, and you'll be the same for Dylan and this baby. And I know it's scary - all the what-ifs and maybes - but we'll tackle them together. We always do. I believe in us; in our family. And I'll be right here with you every step of the way, supporting and loving you."
Listening to Jake, his confidence and love pouring through each word, I felt my fears ebb away. He was right. We were in this together, and we could face any challenge together. But I'm still afraid, as Jake makes the horses halt on the trail, as he pays attention to the fear in my eyes.
"Hey," he said softly, reaching over to lift my chin. "Look at me. We've got each other's backs, always. This baby, our family, it's our future. And I'll be with you every step of the way. We'll learn, stumble, and most importantly, love—throughout it all. That's our strength, Mia. Our love."
His conviction, his unwavering support, fortified my resolve. In Jake's eyes, I saw not just the love of my life but an unwavering partner ready to face whatever life threw our way. Our journey hadn't been smooth, but it was ours. We had weathered storms together, and now, we were about to welcome our beacon of joy.
