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Bedlam’s shoulders slumped, the defeat that was weighing on me, obviously doing the same to him. I felt lost, like I was spiraling and out of control without Heather as my tether.
Coming back into civilian life after the military was hard enough, but I found the Devil’s Saints and then Heather. Both gave me a reason to put one foot in front of the other, but it was our Cherub who motivated me the most. Because I wanted and needed to be a good man for her.
“We were waiting,” Gray’s voice sounded as hollow as I was feeling. “We want to all have our patches, if we earn them, before we claim her. It had to be all three of us or nothing. We wanted to make sure she was protected from the other angels and their bullshit and to make sure we had equal footing in our claim on her.”
Lucifer nodded slowly as he looked between us before he let out a heavy sigh. “That does make sense, but did you tell her your plan?”
My eyes slid closed, and pain shot through my entire body. No, we didn’t. Because we didn’t want to give her false promises. Just in case.
Just in case one of us didn’t earn our patch.
Just in case we couldn’t give her the stability we wanted.
Just in case we had to change our plans.
But we didn’t include her in any of them.
“I’m going to determine from your silence that you did not,” Lucifer’s voice sounded tired as fuck. “I tried to convince her to stay, but she was adamant. I don’t know what happened and I won’t speculate. I can tell you that you have my full support to talk with Hacker about tracking her down.”
We nodded and then shuffled out of the room after apologizing for storming into Lucifer’s office and demanding anything from him. He would have been within his rights as our leader to kick us out or kick our asses. I saw the understanding in his eyes though and he saw the pain in ours.
That’s one of the reasons he’s such a good Prez and has us willing to follow him into hellfire at the drop of a hat.
A week or so later Gray was patched in and as much as we tried to celebrate, it was difficult. The other angels were trying to crawl all over his dick. I thought for sure he was close to snapping the entire night. I’m not sure how he held it together, but he did.
He’d get this look of longing on his face and glance at the doors of the clubhouse throughout the night. I know he was hoping Heather would walk in and apologize for ghosting us and leaving us feeling so fucking empty.
She didn’t.
The morning after Gray was patched in as Viper, I got a text from Hacker to meet him in his office. I was instantly giddy, but also afraid to fucking hope. I wasn’t the only one who got the text because Viper and Bedlam were at his door as well.
We probably looked like one of those slapstick comedies as we tried to walk through the door at the same time in our eagerness to get any fucking information on our woman. Hacker chuckled under his breath, but stopped when we shot him glares and then pushed and shoved each other into his office.
I looked at the multiple monitors in his setup and instantly had a headache. But he looked pleased as fucking punch with himself which I took as a good sign.
There weren’t any office chairs to sit down in, so we all stood with our feet apart and our arms crossed across our chests, bracing for whatever he was going to tell us. I didn’t know if I could take another blow. Even though I also desperately needed to know our Cherub was okay and safe.
“Please tell us you found her,” I tried to smooth over the process considering Bedlam and Viper were about to lose their shit.
“I did,” Hacker nodded, his voice cautious. “She’s living in a small town in Tennessee. She just started a job. That’s how I found her.”
I wanted to sink to my knees, but I locked them instead. He was giving us facts, which was great and all, but I wanted to know what her life was looking like. I wanted to know how she was doing. I had a sinking feeling in my gut he wasn’t going to be able to tell me nearly enough details.
“She’s not trying to hide,” Bedlam mused.
“Nope,” Hacker popped the p. “She’s rented a house from a couple who ran her information for a standard background check, and she’s started working at a real estate office. I’ve forwarded you the details about the town and her address.”
Viper let out a heavy breath before looking between the two of us. I knew he was wondering the same thing I was—what now?
After thanking Hacker, we found a quiet corner and put our heads together. We had to come up with a plan. One that would have our woman back where she belongs at the end of it.
“I think we should go and get her right now,” Bedlam’s voice was insistent and on the edge of hysteria.
I wanted to sink into myself because while Bedlam and Viper had their place in the club, I still didn’t. I knew what it meant. When we explained ourselves to Lucifer, he never told us we were wrong about needing a patch to claim our woman or that our reasoning for waiting wasn’t sound. It was.
“No,” Viper’s voice held regret and uncertainty in it, “I think we should wait. We wanted to know that she’s safe and she is. That’s the most important part. If we go now, Zach can’t go with us, and we’ll be in the same place we were in when we couldn’t claim her as ours together.”
“I don’t want to be the one to hold you two back. You’re both patched in. Go and get our woman. Claim her,” I insisted, even as my soul felt like it was tearing in two.
