AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Okay, well, I’m sorry about the last batch of ladies. Obviously, I didn’t do a good enough job on finding someone to meet your criteria.”
“You didn’t do a bad job,” he replied, leaning forward. “Actually, all of them, other than Marsha and her cats, met every one of my criteria.” He shrugged. “I think that my criteria were off. I guess I don’t really know what I want from a woman,” he continued. “Bailey and Matteo sprung this whole…gift of your services on me one morning and I met with you only hours after they told me what they’d done. I hadn’t had a chance to really process the idea of…well, of being partnered up with someone. That wasn’t fair to you, Raven.”
She sighed with relief at his understanding. “Okay, fair enough. I didn’t give you enough time to–,” she paused when the waitress arrived with their food. “I’m starving!” she whispered, smiling at the waitress as she set the large plate in front of her. “This looks wonderful!” Raven told the woman. “Thank you!”
The plate was filled with a large burger and a huge mound of fries. There was no way Raven could eat all of the fries, but she was going to make a pretty good dent in them!
After she’d taken a bite, Raven set her burger down, and carefully selected a fry, dipping it in a combination of ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard. Before taking a bite, she looked over at him, the fry hovering in the air. “Okay, so tell me what you learned while taking each of the ladies out for dinner. What new insights did you gain?”
He eyed her plate of fries, then at his own healthy, vegetable salad with a serving of broiled salmon on top. For a moment, he hesitated, but then determinedly dug into his salad.
“I don’t know if I came to any bright revelations,” he said, watching as she cut her burger in half, then took another big bite. “Although, now that you, Bailey and Matteo put the idea into my head, I’m on board with finding a significant other.”
She hesitated, then started chewing again. Carefully, she wiped her mouth before saying, “You’re looking for a wife, correct? You want a commitment to one woman to go along with raising children?”
“Of course.” He cut another bite of his salmon and added several vegetables and a bit of lettuce onto his fork, stared at it for a long moment, then glanced at Raven’s fries again. With a small shake of his head, he explained, “The term ‘significant other’ is simply a benign way to refer to someone more significant than a mere sexual partner. I wasn’t trying to escape from the idea of a long term relationship. You and my friends have convinced me that I’m ready for a committed relationship. Therefore, if you find a woman that I find attractive in ways that entice me more than just in a sexual way, then I am prepared to marry.” He pointed his fork at her, “With a prenup.”
She lifted one finger while the others wrapped hungrily around her burger. “Don’t get too romantic on me, Tim,” she joked. “However, I’m pleased that you’ve gotten on board.” Her sarcastic tone made him chuckle. “As for a prenup, that goes without saying. Every candidate I present to you is interviewed prior to meeting you. By the time I present any candidate to you, she has already agreed to sign a prenup.”
“Good.” He stabbed another bite of salmon, adding more veggies. He glanced at her fries again, then dunked his salmon in the red wine vinegar. “I want someone softer,” he blurted out. “The women you sent me were exactly what I asked for, but after talking with them, I realized something important.”
“What’s that?” she asked, dumping several fries on the side of his plate.
Startled, Tim stared at the fries for a long moment, then looked up at her. “I don’t need the fries,” he told her.
She smiled at him, then bit off the end of a fry that was covered in her three-condiment mix. “I know you don’t need the fries.” She paused, lowering her voice. “But you want them.” Her grin was mischievous now. “Don’tcha?”
He rolled his eyes and took another bite of his salmon, ignoring the fries. “The women you sent were exactly what I previously would have thought I’d want in a wife, until I started to seriously think about marrying.” He stabbed a broccoli floret, then glanced at the fries. Ignoring the temptation, he waved the fork with the stabbed broccoli towards her to make his point. “I was wrong and I apologize. Once I met the women you interviewed for me, I quickly grasped that they were well educated in a variety of subjects, but…,” he paused now, thinking about how to explain. Finally, he shook his head. “It was like talking to a co-worker. There was zero chemistry.”
“That happens,” Raven nodded, accepting his answer as well as his apology for the incorrect direction of his preferences. “But don’t become discouraged after the first round. Sometimes, it takes a bit of back and forth to narrow down exactly what you’re looking for. As you talk to the women I introduce to you, you’ll start to know what you don’t want. Which is just as important as knowing what you do want in a partner.” Then she lifted her burger, examining it to determine which area would give her the next perfect bite.
He waved his fork in the air. “It’s not as if the relationship would be permanent.”
She stopped mid-bite, staring at him. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged and stabbed a fry, dipping it in the glob of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise she’d mixed up on her plate. “I mean, a relationship only needs to last as long as the children are in the home, doesn’t it?”
“No,” she snapped, and slapped his hand when he started to steal another fry – one that was perfectly crispy – from her plate instead of taking the fries she’d given him. The slap didn’t discourage him. In fact, he used his fork to hold her at bay so that he could dunk his fry. “Relationships last as long as there are feelings between the participants of the relationship.”
He held his pilfered fry in the air as he gazed back at her with confusion. “Why would you stay with someone once the primary reason for the marriage is over?”
She glared at him and took another bite of her burger. After chewing and swallowing, she asked, “You mean the love and companionship of the two people involved?”
He lifted his hand and the waitress immediately came over. “Can we get another basket of fries with more condiments, please?”
The waitress grinned and nodded. “Absolutely, sir. I’ll get that right out for you.”
Tim pushed the remnants of his salad out of the way and focused on stealing her fries. “Why do you continue to focus on the emotional side of a marriage? A relationship based on mutual respect and a desire to provide a solid, safe home for offspring sounds like a much more rational basis for a marriage.”
She rolled her eyes. “That ‘emotional side’ is what keeps women from stabbing men in the back when they steal too many fries!” she grumbled. But she didn’t stop him when he took yet another fry. She started to mix up more of the condiments since he was stealing that too. “It’s also the reason we put up with all of men’s stupidity.”
“What stupidity do men bring to the table that isn’t mirrored in women’s actions?”
She pointed a fry at him, pausing when the waitress brought an obscenely large basket of seasoned fries. “Have you heard about weaponized incompetence?”
He took one of the new batch of fries, but at her words, paused and looked at her. “No. what’s that?”
“He-peating?” she queried.
