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Not when he thought about Percy and what it would be like to touch him. Kiss him.
Shame and guilt didn’t exist in his private thoughts, in the privacy of his room. When he found his hand reaching down into his drawers to relieve some pressure.
Oh, how he imagined Percy then.
He imagined kissing him, their tongues touching. He imagined their bodies pressed together, how he felt. Then he imagined it was Percy’s hand on him, not his own, and he brought him to climax so fast, so hard.
He cleaned himself up and fell back into bed, sleepy now. He smiled at the ceiling, into the darkness, and waited for the shame and guilt to creep over him.
But they never did.
* * *
Albie had breakfast started early. A belly full of porridge would see them through until dinnertime. He expected Percy to join him early again and was disappointed when he didn’t.
He came inside with Robert, both of them dressed and ready.
“Des is just finishing up with the horses,” Robert said.
Albie was dishing up porridge and he tried to avoid looking at Percy, memories of his fantasies from last night a little fresh in his mind. It wasn’t until they were all seated at the table that he looked up and saw Percy’s face. He was clearly tired, as if he’d not slept at all, again.
Albie didn’t say anything. Not in front of the others.
He didn’t want them to think Percy was weak or not fit for being a farmhand.
But he ate well and was keen to get started, and it was an eagerness and excitement that made everyone smile.
Albie really liked that about him.
He was a mood-maker, that was for sure.
Soon enough, with the dogs at foot, and Des holding the gate, they herded the cattle out and onto the road.
“Be safe now, ya hear,” Des said. “And watch the crossing.”
Albie tipped his hat. “Be home tomorrow night. Go put your feet up for a bit.”
Des laughed and closed the gate behind them.
Droving cattle down the mountain was never easy, and Albie hadn’t ever done it without his father. Robert was well versed and could read the cattle well and the dogs helped with any strays, but Percy was green.
He kept to the right of the herd, Robert on the left. Percy was a quick study, watching everything Robert did and doing the same, and they were halfway down the mountain before Albie realised he’d been enjoying himself: the jokes, the thrill of droving. And he wasn’t concerned for Percy at all. In fact, Percy was more than competent. It helped that Minnie was in charge, but he certainly knew how to handle a horse.
Percy was also funny and witty. Quick with a joke, and the sound of his laughter ringing through the valley made Albie’s heart warm. Albie even caught Robert smiling a time or two.
It was the first time since his father’s death that he felt any semblance of joy. The open air, being on horseback and droving the cattle. It was a nice reprieve, however brief, from the weight of grief he’d been carrying around with him.
It was slow going though, and it wasn’t until late afternoon that they rode into Alpine Falls stockyards. Albie left Robert and Percy to get the herd corralled, and he went in search of John Bailey.
Mr Bailey was a stout man. He sported a long grey beard and a short temper, but he’d been good to Albie’s father all these years, even attended his funeral. And Albie hoped he’d receive the same treatment.
He was met with a handshake and a tip of his hat. “Wondered if I’d see you this time,” he said.
Albie was relieved. “Got a business to run,” he said. “Bought down twenty head o’cattle.” He nodded to the holding yard they were in, and Mr Bailey gave a nod.
He counted the stock himself and handed Albie the receipt. “Good, good,” he said, busy and dismissive. “Market prices announced tomorrow. Come by to pick up your purse.”
Albie gave a tip of his hat in return and walked back to where Robert and Percy were by their horses, letting them drink water, and he was sure he saw Percy sneak them a few bites of chaff.
