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Silence. Just the distant clamor of the waking stronghold. I hear my guards murmuring about the warlord's pet fleeing, vanishing into the mists armed for battle. She must have overheard our plans to assault her people's settlement...
A ragged sound tears from my throat. I dress in a haze of hurt and haste, my mind racing with anguish and desperation. Why, Lily? Was it all a lie, a trick to weaken me? Was I the fool, so blinded by desire, to believe she could ever truly be mine?
I shake my head savagely. It doesn't matter now. All that matters is finding her, stopping her, before she shatters the fragile peace. I storm from the chamber, barking orders to rouse the clan to hunt, to chase.
Find her, I snarl to every warrior I pass. Find the Red Blade, the warlord's mate, and bring her back to me. Unharmed.
I need counsel, the unflinching support of Sharak, my trusted second. I find him in the war room, poring over maps, his brow furrowed with concentration.
"She's gone," I rasp. "Lily's left me. Fled in the night like a thief, a traitor."
Shock and sympathy war on his craggy face. "But...but why? She's your mate, your queen. Why would she abandon you, abandon us, after everything...?"
"Perhaps she tired of playing the captive concubine to a monster," I mutter bitterly.
"Grok," Sharak says softly, "You're not a monster. You're a warlord who loves deeply, fiercely. She loves you too. I've seen it in her eyes, heard it in her voice. She's just torn between duty to her people and devotion to you. She'll come back to you."
I stare at him, desperate hope warring with anguish inside me. "You really believe that? That she wants to be here, to be...to be mine?"
"I do," he says. "But you have to be ready for the possibility that she'll choose her people, her purpose, over the life you've offered her."
I flinch as if he's struck me. A life without Lily is unthinkable, unbearable. I vow silently to fall on my own blade before living in a world that doesn't have her in it.
Sharak sees the determination in my eyes and sighs heavily. "You're going after her, aren't you? No matter the cost to her, to you..."
"I am. I will. She's mine, Sharak. I won't let her go, won't let her leave me, not without a fight. Not without everything I have, everything I am."
He nods slowly, grim acceptance settling over his features. "I understand. And I'll stand with you, my lord. For you. No matter where this path leads, no matter what battles we must fight...I'll be by your side."
Relief, gratitude, rolls through me. "Thank you, my friend. My brother. I...I don't know what I would do without your wisdom, your strength..."
"You'll never have to find out," he vows fiercely. "I'm with you, Grok. Always...and forever."
I nod, my throat tight. Always and forever. An oath, a covenant I will keep, will honor, no matter the price. No matter the pain.
Warriors flood into the great hall, and I respond to them in a haze of barely leashed violence. I can see the flickers of doubt, of disdain, seething behind their eyes. Weak, their stares whisper. Unworthy. Unmanned by a slip of a human girl.
I snarl, a sound of pure, wounded rage, and they flinch back, cowed. But the damage is done. I am lessened, laughable, in their eyes. A warlord who can't even master his own mate, his own heart.
You don't understand, I want to howl. She is no mere mortal, but a queen, fierce and proud and powerful in ways you could never comprehend!
And I...I love her, beyond reason, beyond rhyme.
But I lock it away, deep down inside. To show such weakness before my males would be the end of me, the end of everything I've bled to build. And so I shove it down until all that's left is the cold, implacable mask of the warlord. The conqueror who will destroy any who stand in his way.
Even if what he holds dearest...is the one he may have to destroy himself, to keep the respect of his warriors. The strength of his reign.
Lily. Her name is an endless, aching litany inside me. Come back to me. Come back, before I break from the want of you, the need of you...
But she doesn't. She won't. She's made her choice, her stand. And now I must make mine. Now I must fight to bring her back, to keep her, no matter how it rends me to think of her bound and broken. A captive queen at the mercy of a monster's whims.
My whims. My endless, aching love, that even now...I cannot bring myself to regret.
With a roar that shakes the rafters, I slam my fist into the stone wall, pain cutting through the chaos inside me. Enough, I snarl at myself. Enough mewling like a lovesick whelp! You are Grok Bloodclaw, warlord of the Red Mountains! You do not break for anything or anyone.
I cast my gaze around the hall, taking in the worried, watchful faces of my warriors. They need a leader now, strong and savage. I will give them that warlord, that beast.
Even if it means locking away the part of me that yearns for her, breaks for her. The part that whispers mate and mine and forever.
