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The money helped with the shame, but there was always that voice in my head reminding me how, if my mother was alive, she would be so disappointed in me.
I shut up the voice by telling it that none of this would be happening if my mother could have stayed alive.
But even though Max is being pretty great, I still refuse his offer for lunch. Instead, he drops me at my house with strict instructions to pack as many bikinis as I can and to be ready in an hour.
I can’t believe I’m going away with him.
The house is locked but security has been disengaged so I know Tana and Travis are there.
Noam insisted that I buy the house. It had been when I was still dancing, and working on the side, but moving things along with the website. I owned three clubs by then, also on Noam’s advice, but had been living in an apartment, in a sketchy building in a not-great area.
“This is not safe,” Noam tells me during one of our dinners. “I want you safe.”
The next day, a real estate agent contacted me, and showed me four houses. I couldn’t afford any of them, but Noam lent me the money and persuaded me to choose this one.
I love the house—four bedrooms, five baths, with a fully finished basement that I made into my office—but I spent a very lonely year hiding from the neighbours so they wouldn’t find out that I worked as an escort when I wasn’t stripping.
And then I met Malcolm, and it got better.
I’d love to run across the yard to talk to him, but he’s away for a few days with his new girlfriend, Nia. I’m happy for him, but it’s a change that I haven’t gotten used to yet.
Now that Nia is in the picture, I no longer have free access to Malcolm’s life. I would let myself into his house after a tough day and make him dinner. Sometimes I’d stay the night.
Malcolm is the only person I really can be myself with. He’s still in my life but Nia is there, too, and Malcolm will pick her every time. It’s not the sleep-overs that I miss, but having someone always on my side.
“Cady?” Tana’s voice drifts up the stairs as I kick off my shoes. Tana is always on my side, but I pay her to be.
“I’m back, but not for long,” I call down.
“What’s going—?” She halts at the top of the staircase, gaping at me. “You went shopping? You never go shopping.”
Tana started working as my assistant the year I quit stripping. I had been twenty-four, focused on making money. She had been a single mother of three kids and needed something that got her home at a decent hour to make sure they did their homework.
Eight years later, I’ve helped send two of the three to university and Tana is indispensable to me.
I also introduced her to her husband, Travis, so she owes me.
I set the bags by the door. “It’s a long story.”
“One that you better get telling me.” She comes toward me. “Hon, you look exhausted.”
“It’s been a day,” I tell her, rubbing my eyes. “And it’s only begun. How are things here?”
Instead of giving her usual succinct report, Tana hugs me—throws her arms around me without warning. And even though I stiffen, it doesn’t take long to sink into her embrace.
“I’m sorry about Noam,” she says into my hair. “How are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” I admit, pulling away even though I want nothing more than to stay right where I am. I don’t get hugged very often, but Tana gives good ones. “It’s…” I shake my head to clear the worry and confusion. And the uncertainty. “I don’t know.”
Tonic, one of my two cats, pads down the stairs. I pick him up.
“And Tate’s kids contacted you?” Moment over. Tana is back to all business.
My phone is already in my hand and I scroll through the series of texts to show her.
“There’s not much we can do about this.” She hands it back. “Tell me how things went with Maximus Steele?”
I jerk my head at the shopping bag. “He bought me a dress.”
