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He just needs time.
“I never prepared for this,” Kristof begins to speak. “Maybe I should have, given how things turned out in this life, but when I looked forward, as the world shifted, Ivan and Nastja were always by my side. I could stand here and say something soft, but that wouldn’t honor them. Not really.”
Kristof holds up one urn, and from here, I spot Ivan’s name in a gold scrawl across the marble.
“Ivan was the most loyal sonofabitch you ever could have had at your side. He was quiet, and God forbid you ended up on the wrong side of one of his disapproving stares, but no one could get information quite like him. He never revealed his methods, but his ability to get someone’s life story and then some within ten minutes of meeting them was inspirational.”
Cheers and murmurs of agreement rise up from the men around, and warmth stings behind my eyes. I told myself I would hold it together, but it’s hard.
“And Nastja.” Kristof holds up the second urn. “No one could get rid of a body quite like her. And her killer aim through a scope had countless people running shit scared. She was a tornado and she was fucking brilliant. And she was—” Kristof’s voice cracks, and his arm wobbles faintly.
I hurry forward, looping one hand around his arm as soon as I reach him. He tenses under my touch, and I murmur softly in the back of my throat. Our eyes meet, and pain flashes through his, then he presses his lips together and continues.
“They were the best siblings anyone could ask for, and I miss them. And I won’t rest until we send Aleksander to meet them. They deserve their own revenge.”
More cheers rise, and Kristof lowers the urns, curling them to his chest. A wordless glance of thanks passes between us, then the urns move into my hands so Kristof can grab the shovel and start digging.
Everyone helps. Kristof, Andrev, and August dig together while other guards spread the dirt and help set up the headstone. Then, one by one, Kristof settles the urns into the ground and slowly covers them over. His movements are slow and controlled, right down to the last pat of the shovel over the dirt. Then he steps back, takes a cloth from his upper pocket, and begins to polish the headstone.
I’d read about this—a final act of sorrow and respect.
It seems to be the signal, and many of the guards disperse as Kristof silently polishes the headstone from the top to the bottom. Andrev melts into the background, and August—after squeezing my arm and promising me that he is just a call away—leaves quietly until only I remain, steadfast by Kristof’s side.
He reaches the bottom of the stone, then he leans forward and kisses the marble.
Tears cling to my lashes, and when Kristof stands to face me, his own eyes sparkle. Holding out my hand, I wait for him to take it, and when he does, I grip tightly. We stand in silence until the clouds break, and a stream of sunlight pours down onto the willow tree, turning it into a glowing orb of soft greens and yellows.
“Can I… ask you something?” There hasn’t been a good time for me to ask, but as we slowly begin the walk back to the house, now feels like the only time.
“Anything,” Kristof replies.
“Why have you been avoiding work calls these past few days?” I tilt up at him and find he’s already looking down at me. “I see you cancel calls and ignore them, and with my father still at large, I just wonder… why?”
“I wanted time,” Kristof replies honestly. “I needed time. With you. With just us as one before the next… whatever the fuck happens. I needed to breathe, and August, the gallant fucking soul that he is, granted me that.”
“It’s not because of the doctor?”
Kristof’s teeth snag on his lower lip. “I don’t care about the doctor. But I know you do, so I… I made sure enough money was sent to his family to help with the loss. Believe me, I know no amount of money will ease the pain of loss, but after your reaction, I did feel slightly guilty, so I took action.”
“I… did not expect that.” My fingers entwine a little firmer with his. “I appreciate that.”
“I won’t be making a habit of it.”
“No.” I chuckle softly. “But it’s a step in the right direction.”
Reaching the patio, Kristof pauses and glances back where the willow tree can be seen stretching taller than all else in the garden.
“Thank you,” Kristof says in a low voice. “For doing this. For… thinking of this.”
“Of course. They were my family too, and I miss them, so… now we can visit them any time.”
Kristof’s eyes gradually drift back to mine, and when they meet, he smiles.
“I do have one more question, though.”
His brow quirks upward.
“What do I have to do to get that tie around my wrists and your dick inside me?”
