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She laughs and shakes her head. “You boys. If I heard one more fart or poop joke back then, I was going to tear my hair out.”
“We all turned out okay. And we didn’t even make a single fart joke at the anniversary party,” I point out.
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, you left before Ash and Gray got into a whole contest.”
I wrinkle my nose but offer a laugh. Nothing like fart jokes to lighten the mood, even at thirty-six. “I should get into the office,” I say.
“Are you sure you have to go? Or can you spend the day with your old mom?”
“You’re hardly old,” I say, squeezing her shoulder. “But, yeah, I do need to head in for at least a few hours. Dinner?”
She nods. “I fly back to New York tomorrow morning, so dinner tonight would be lovely.”
“With Ash, too?”
“How about just you and me?” she asks.
“I’d like that.” I don’t have memories of when I was the only kid, back before my brothers came along. But there was a time when it was just this woman and me against the world, and as much as I love my siblings, sometimes I longed for her attention when she was unable to give it.
I head to the office and can’t find my focus.
I try calling Jolene, and I’m not exactly sure why. I know she isn’t going to answer, but I guess I just want to check on her. To check on us. She was mad last night, and I get that. But to throw away what we have because of this?
It feels harsh.
But I’m also not in her shoes. It probably took a lot for her to trust me again after I broke her heart the way I did the first time, and then I came back into her life promising I wouldn’t do it again, only to…do it again.
She’s right not to trust me. It’s the smart thing for her to do. It’s the only way to protect herself.
But that’s not going to stop me from trying to win her back anyway.
I go the text route next.
Me: Hi. Just making sure you’re okay today.
She doesn’t answer.
I shouldn’t be surprised, and it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does when that door to hope inches just a little closer toward slamming shut.
CHAPTER 4: JOLENE
Just making sure you’re okay today?
Is he fucking kidding me?
No, I’m not okay! My heart is broken and it’s his fault. And my body very nearly was, too, at my own hands but he can take his part of the blame for that, too.
Rivera’s article published. Any guesses who had the byline on that one? Ryan Douchebag Rivera.
The article details the history between our families, and he has more than one named source who says what Eddie did to my dad was intentional. My chest feels heavy and my heart physically hurts when I read the quote from Edward Nash about this whole thing.
“I did it to protect my son, and I told him that, too, when I confessed what I’d done.”
People may wonder why this is all coming out now, two decades after the event, and Rivera doesn’t address that in the story. He doesn’t say how he wants to ruin my life and will stop at nothing to do it.
Well…mission accomplished.
I’ve lost everything except Jonah, and I will cling onto him with my dying breath. And even with him…I feel him slipping from my grasp as I’m made to look the fool again and again. My life is spinning out of control just like that car, and Rivera is the man behind all of it.
