AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m about to open my mouth to defend what we have, but it’s in this moment I realize that I don’t have to.
I’m done.
I’m tired of trying to make him proud of me.
I’m tired of apologizing. I’m tired of feeling like I’m not good enough.
I’m just tired, and this is maybe the thing that has pushed me over the edge of tired into exhaustion.
“You going to say something?” he hisses.
“No, Dad. I think you’ve said it all for both of us. I’m choosing her.”
He balks at that as some strange sputtering sounds cross the airwaves between us. “You’re tearing apart our family, Lincoln.”
“I’m not,” I argue. “You’re the one forcing me to make a choice, and I’m finally, finally going to choose myself. I’m choosing happiness. I’m choosing her. I’m done trying to impress you because the truth is, nothing I can ever do will be enough for you. I need to focus on this season, and I can’t allow outside distractions to get in my way.”
“She is the distraction! Can’t you see that?” he roars.
I draw in a deep breath. “She’s the real MVP here, Dad. She’s my biggest cheerleader, and she’s become my rock. And we’ve had to do it all in secret because, well, because of you. Because you can’t make amends with her father. Because you’d rather let a decades-old grudge come between you.”
“He ruined our lives,” my dad hisses at me. “He took everything from us.”
I clear my throat. It’s time for the blame to stop. “Only after you took everything from him first.” I say the words quietly, hoping they’ll make a bigger impact that way.
They don’t. It’s a failure.
“That’s how you see it, is it?” he asks.
Well…yeah. Because it’s the truth. But he’s too blinded by his anger and his stubbornness to ever see it any other way.
“No son of mine would turn his back on me like this,” he warns, and he can warn and threaten and kick all he wants. The truth is, he taught me how to be stubborn, too.
“Then I guess you have your answer.” I cut the call with those words, and while it feels heavy on my heart, it also feels…freeing.
CHAPTER 10: JOLENE
I hear my phone beep with a new text, but I’m busy comforting my crying son who’s upset. He won’t tell me why he’s upset, though.
We’re home alone since Sam took Cade to the store to grab some things for the weekend, and the second they walked out the door, Jonah broke down.
It was like he was holding it together in front of them, but as soon as it was just the two of us, he lost it.
I’m not sure if there’s anything harder on a mom than when your kid is upset and you can’t figure out the reason. This parenting thing is no joke, and I know I haven’t been around lately as much as I’d like to be. It’s only going to get worse as the regular season gets underway, but I need Jonah to know that even when I’m not physically here, I’m always here for him.
So I’m holding him on the couch while he cries, and tears pinch behind my own eyes as I try to figure it out. I’m in the delicate balance of not wanting to press too much but also needing to know what’s going on.
“Is it something with Cade?” I guess. I can’t help but think that while it’s fun for him to live with his best friend, they’re always together, and kids can be mean to each other. My brain immediately goes to Cade being the one who did something wrong, and I know it’s only because I’m defending my son, but I still feel guilty about it. Cade and Sam have been nothing but wonderful to the two of us.
But it’s still a reminder that we never intended to stay here forever. Maybe for the season since it’s convenient when I’m working so much, but if Cade did something or said something to upset Jonah, then we need to either solve it or I need to extract us from the situation.
“No,” he says, and he sounds miserable.
“Did something happen at school?” I ask next.
“Sorta.”
Okay, we’re getting closer.
